Our pick of Winners and Sinners in the Eureka Springs Court of Public Opinion:

Sew right

Winner: «Let's make Carroll County an example of how people, cut from different cloth, can make a beautiful quilt.»-- Historic preservationist Alexander Virden on civic civility.

How about on the lips?

Sinner: «I don't think most moms and dads want to bring their children to a city to watch homosexuals kiss on the courthouse steps.»--Rev. Philip Wilson.

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The Gay News roving pack of bons vivants left Eureka Springs this afternoon. We didn't get too far in cartographic terms--a mere eleven miles down the road--but, according to the soothing, limited viewpoints we enjoy in the upper left-hand corner of NW Arkansas, we might as well have launched off planet Earth for a dangerous, daring trip to a distant galaxy.

Local Gay News readers know exactly what we mean. Yes, that's right. We went to Berryville. Distant Gay News readers will require a slightly longer explanation for this shocking development but, not to worry, here it is:

The county that contains Eureka Springs is divided in two parts by a wild and beautiful river known as «the Kings.» Back in the old days, before the Mini Cooper was invented, the Kings River often made it impossible for county residents to do government business. So the county is divided into two county seats, one on the eastern side of the river (Berryville), the other on the west bank (Eureka Springs.)

Fans of musical theater should know the outcome, and all the lyrics, by heart. Yes, it's Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim and «West Side Story.»

The conservative, traditional «Jets» live on the Berryville east side. The newcomer, rowdy «Sharks» live in west side Eureka Springs. They're conservative. We're progressive. They raise livestock. We create abstract, conceptual livestock sculpture. On Sundays, we sell liquor. They go to church. We wear tie-dye. They wear Wranglers.

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The American Civil Liberties Union wants to help make sure the domestic partner registry in the North West Arkansas region remains an option for residents and guests. Your stories of love and commitment are the best way to defeat efforts to ban the registry. If you are a same-sex couple in this region, we want to hear from you now. Please click here and complete our couples survey:

http://www.freedomtomarry.org/stories/page1.asp

All stories count. Especially if you've had some obstacles around the fact your relationship is not legally recognized. Let us know if you or your partner were denied health care, medical decision-making, housing, inheritance, child custody, etc. because you are considered strangers by the law. Even if nothing bad has happened to you, let us know about your loving and committed relationship.

The survey is quick and your participation is vital. Please forward this message and the survey link to all you know in the NW Arkansas region!

http://www.freedomtomarry.org/stories/page1.asp

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The latest entrant into Eureka Springs' Domestic Partnership Registry Sweepstakes is our own local representative to the Arkansas Legislature, State Representative Bryan King.

«Personally I oppose the Deomestic (sic) Partner Registry,» King announced in Tuesday's carelessly-spelled press release. «Because of the numerous phone calls and the future impact to our area on this issue, I will say that I am considering asking an Attorney General opinion and possible future legislation regarding city, county or government entities issuing Domestic Partner Registtry's (sic).»

King's debut as a soldier in God's Chosen Army, Traditional Marriage Protection Regiment, is a bold move by our local first-term legislator. Here at home, back in the district, we know King as the poultry and cattle farmer who spent his entire first term trying to get permission from the state's environmental protection agency for poultry farmers to spread leftover chicken manure on cattle grazing lands.

King eventually withdrew his virgin legislation, known locally as the «Chicken Litter Bill.» Long story. We'll spare you. Suffice it to say that King's plans for fame, fortune and adulation from the Chicken Litter Lobby didn't quite work out.

Now Rep. King needs an issue to help him vault over the dangerous obstacle known as the «2008 Election.» Enter Eureka Springs «Deomestic Partner Registtry (sic, sic).»

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I guess this all started when a friend emailed me about an email he got from a friend. With me so far? A snippet of the email was more or less what will they («they» being the self proclaimed, saved and named Christians) take over next.

We have Christian Rockers, Christian Bikers, Christian Politics, Christian Motels. Damn. Weren't they content with just having Christian Bookstores? Guess not.

But it got me to pondering. Is there some kind of Christian porn? Christian hot, hot, steamy, sex? You bet your Baby Jesus there is. Didn't take long at all to find there are classes, manuals, sex toys, porn movies and all kinds of smut for salvation sluts. Baby Jesus butt plug and all.

Now of course you must understand that this kind of sex is strictly reserved for «marriage» and we all know, repeat after me, that MARRIAGE is only for one man and one woman. Period.

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Photography is Art. There I said it. When I attended The Memphis College of Art, I along with fellow painters would never have uttered those words. John Rankine and Al Hooks are two of Eureka Springs' many fine photographers who prove that snapped images rightly deserve the label of «fine art.»

Toronto native John Rankine came to Eureka Springs via Key West ten years ago. With his partner, Billy King, and friend Mary Pat Boian they started a newspaper, «The Lovely County Citizen.» John became the staff photographer. Almost immediately he worked magic with his camera documenting events and people for the publication.

Despite a hectic work schedule, Rankine finds time to work on themed shows with tremendous success. The «Doll Series» contained images of discarded toy dolls carefully placed in still life and environmental settings. His highly acclaimed artist portrait series featured sixty photos of seventy-five local artists and strongly captured the essence of each individual. The show sold out.

John's other works have included a pro Peace series shot at a rally in DC, beautiful and sometimes eerie florals, a male erotic jewelry show, and the Eureka Springs School of the Arts calendar.

What sets Rankine's works apart is his keen eye for composition. For some pieces he sets up a carefully arranged composition before shooting. The arrangement in itself is a work of art that is then captured forever as a fine art photograph. Often cutting edge and controversial, this camera artist always gives viewers something to talk about.

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We're pleased to report that Eureka Springs' Domestic Partnership Registry is bringing piles of new visitors to our quaint little village. This just in from a group that calls themselves Jericho Riders: They say Eureka Springs has «given into Satan and his tactics» so they're coming to pray for us.

Isn't that sweet?

Here in Eureka Springs, we're equally worried about Satan. «Satan» is not his real name; it's just what we call him. But ever since Satan quit his three-night-a-week dish washing gig at the House of Biscuits and Gravy--then spent his final paycheck on yet another blackwork tattoo, three new facial piercings and a bottle of MD 20/20--we've all been worried about his welfare.

Thanks for being so thoughtful about our local concerns, Jericho Riders! We're misting up.

However, though we are eternally grateful that the Jericho Riders fret, just as we do, about Satan's continual failure to show up for job interviews at the Arkansas Department of Workforce Services, we're earnestly counting our blessings for an entirely different reason. The Jericho Riders, bless their hearts, have given us a fabulous idea.

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Get «hitched» in Eureka Springs during Diversity Weekend

For out-of-towners coming to our annual summer Diversity Weekend (Aug. 3-5), here's a concise countdown to achieving connubial bliss at the same time:

1) Print out the online application for a Domestic Partnership Registry certificate, available here:

City of Eureka Springs, DP Info

2) Before 4:30 p.m. on Friday, August 3, take the application and your partner-to-be to the Eureka Springs City Hall, 44 S. Main St.

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A growing number of Eureka Springs businesses want to say Thank You for coming to Eureka to register your Domestic Partnership. Check back often as the list grows!

• Eureka House - Situated on 12 private acres just 5 minutes to downtown Eureka Springs. Perfect for your commitment ceremony in the gardens and plenty of room for your reception with guests. Sleeps 6. View our site for complete info and pictures. Our Domestic Partner special: Take $35.00 (the cost of your DP registration) off your first night with us. 2 night minimum stay. Stay for 3 or more nights and we'll pay for your minister too..commitment, renewal of vows, etc. Book for a week and get $35.00 off the first night, a minister for vows, dinner for 2 and your 7th night FREE. Subject to availability.

• Spexton - From now on, we will take the $35 cost of your DPR certificate off of the purchase of any 2 rings! That means that you can get 2 custom handcrafted rings by Greg and I starting at just $161 before tax! We would be honored to create the perfect rings for all who are celebrating this momentous occasion---we hope to see you soon!

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That's right Grrls. Eureka Springs has a restaurant named «Rowdy Beaver.» Hold the double entendre. We'll get to that when we Ruthlessly Review the business that offers you a chance to «Dive on Beaver.» (Yes there is one. Really.)

Rowdy Beaver is a family-style roadhouse, complete with an under-12-kit menu for your little Beavers and Beaverettes. If you're a loyal Diversity visitor who wonders whatever happened to the fun folks at the Copacabana Club, now you know: Bartender Mikie is spinning the blender at the Beaver Bistro; Lita is spinning the hits on Thursdays at the Beaver's «Karaoke with Lita.»

The menu at the Rowdy Beaver includes basic roadhouse comfort food: burgers, sandwiches, steaks, chops, seafood, beer, wine and a full bar. As Coca-Cola addicts in a village awash in Pepsi, the Gay News Noshing Crew finds it inexplicably important to mention that the Rowdy Beaver serves genuine Coca-Cola products.

The Beaver adds a few Rowdy twists to their classic roadhouse fare. For example, Fried Green Beans ($5.99), the most ridiculous appetizer you've ever heard of, n'est-ce pas? Au contraire! Fried green beans are mmm, mmm down-home tasty.

Other uncommon appetizers include Fried Pickles ($4.50) and Crab Cakes with homemade Remoulade ($12.99). Not to worry, traditionalists, the Rowdy Beaver serves a classic ring, wing, cheese stick, chips 'n salsa appetizer menu too.

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