The latest entrant into Eureka Springs' Domestic Partnership Registry Sweepstakes is our own local representative to the Arkansas Legislature, State Representative Bryan King.

«Personally I oppose the Deomestic (sic) Partner Registry,» King announced in Tuesday's carelessly-spelled press release. «Because of the numerous phone calls and the future impact to our area on this issue, I will say that I am considering asking an Attorney General opinion and possible future legislation regarding city, county or government entities issuing Domestic Partner Registtry's (sic).»

King's debut as a soldier in God's Chosen Army, Traditional Marriage Protection Regiment, is a bold move by our local first-term legislator. Here at home, back in the district, we know King as the poultry and cattle farmer who spent his entire first term trying to get permission from the state's environmental protection agency for poultry farmers to spread leftover chicken manure on cattle grazing lands.

King eventually withdrew his virgin legislation, known locally as the «Chicken Litter Bill.» Long story. We'll spare you. Suffice it to say that King's plans for fame, fortune and adulation from the Chicken Litter Lobby didn't quite work out.

Now Rep. King needs an issue to help him vault over the dangerous obstacle known as the «2008 Election.» Enter Eureka Springs «Deomestic Partner Registtry (sic, sic).»

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I guess this all started when a friend emailed me about an email he got from a friend. With me so far? A snippet of the email was more or less what will they («they» being the self proclaimed, saved and named Christians) take over next.

We have Christian Rockers, Christian Bikers, Christian Politics, Christian Motels. Damn. Weren't they content with just having Christian Bookstores? Guess not.

But it got me to pondering. Is there some kind of Christian porn? Christian hot, hot, steamy, sex? You bet your Baby Jesus there is. Didn't take long at all to find there are classes, manuals, sex toys, porn movies and all kinds of smut for salvation sluts. Baby Jesus butt plug and all.

Now of course you must understand that this kind of sex is strictly reserved for «marriage» and we all know, repeat after me, that MARRIAGE is only for one man and one woman. Period.

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Photography is Art. There I said it. When I attended The Memphis College of Art, I along with fellow painters would never have uttered those words. John Rankine and Al Hooks are two of Eureka Springs' many fine photographers who prove that snapped images rightly deserve the label of «fine art.»

Toronto native John Rankine came to Eureka Springs via Key West ten years ago. With his partner, Billy King, and friend Mary Pat Boian they started a newspaper, «The Lovely County Citizen.» John became the staff photographer. Almost immediately he worked magic with his camera documenting events and people for the publication.

Despite a hectic work schedule, Rankine finds time to work on themed shows with tremendous success. The «Doll Series» contained images of discarded toy dolls carefully placed in still life and environmental settings. His highly acclaimed artist portrait series featured sixty photos of seventy-five local artists and strongly captured the essence of each individual. The show sold out.

John's other works have included a pro Peace series shot at a rally in DC, beautiful and sometimes eerie florals, a male erotic jewelry show, and the Eureka Springs School of the Arts calendar.

What sets Rankine's works apart is his keen eye for composition. For some pieces he sets up a carefully arranged composition before shooting. The arrangement in itself is a work of art that is then captured forever as a fine art photograph. Often cutting edge and controversial, this camera artist always gives viewers something to talk about.

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We're pleased to report that Eureka Springs' Domestic Partnership Registry is bringing piles of new visitors to our quaint little village. This just in from a group that calls themselves Jericho Riders: They say Eureka Springs has «given into Satan and his tactics» so they're coming to pray for us.

Isn't that sweet?

Here in Eureka Springs, we're equally worried about Satan. «Satan» is not his real name; it's just what we call him. But ever since Satan quit his three-night-a-week dish washing gig at the House of Biscuits and Gravy--then spent his final paycheck on yet another blackwork tattoo, three new facial piercings and a bottle of MD 20/20--we've all been worried about his welfare.

Thanks for being so thoughtful about our local concerns, Jericho Riders! We're misting up.

However, though we are eternally grateful that the Jericho Riders fret, just as we do, about Satan's continual failure to show up for job interviews at the Arkansas Department of Workforce Services, we're earnestly counting our blessings for an entirely different reason. The Jericho Riders, bless their hearts, have given us a fabulous idea.

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Get «hitched» in Eureka Springs during Diversity Weekend

For out-of-towners coming to our annual summer Diversity Weekend (Aug. 3-5), here's a concise countdown to achieving connubial bliss at the same time:

1) Print out the online application for a Domestic Partnership Registry certificate, available here:

City of Eureka Springs, DP Info

2) Before 4:30 p.m. on Friday, August 3, take the application and your partner-to-be to the Eureka Springs City Hall, 44 S. Main St.

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A growing number of Eureka Springs businesses want to say Thank You for coming to Eureka to register your Domestic Partnership. Check back often as the list grows!

• Eureka House - Situated on 12 private acres just 5 minutes to downtown Eureka Springs. Perfect for your commitment ceremony in the gardens and plenty of room for your reception with guests. Sleeps 6. View our site for complete info and pictures. Our Domestic Partner special: Take $35.00 (the cost of your DP registration) off your first night with us. 2 night minimum stay. Stay for 3 or more nights and we'll pay for your minister too..commitment, renewal of vows, etc. Book for a week and get $35.00 off the first night, a minister for vows, dinner for 2 and your 7th night FREE. Subject to availability.

• Spexton - From now on, we will take the $35 cost of your DPR certificate off of the purchase of any 2 rings! That means that you can get 2 custom handcrafted rings by Greg and I starting at just $161 before tax! We would be honored to create the perfect rings for all who are celebrating this momentous occasion---we hope to see you soon!

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That's right Grrls. Eureka Springs has a restaurant named «Rowdy Beaver.» Hold the double entendre. We'll get to that when we Ruthlessly Review the business that offers you a chance to «Dive on Beaver.» (Yes there is one. Really.)

Rowdy Beaver is a family-style roadhouse, complete with an under-12-kit menu for your little Beavers and Beaverettes. If you're a loyal Diversity visitor who wonders whatever happened to the fun folks at the Copacabana Club, now you know: Bartender Mikie is spinning the blender at the Beaver Bistro; Lita is spinning the hits on Thursdays at the Beaver's «Karaoke with Lita.»

The menu at the Rowdy Beaver includes basic roadhouse comfort food: burgers, sandwiches, steaks, chops, seafood, beer, wine and a full bar. As Coca-Cola addicts in a village awash in Pepsi, the Gay News Noshing Crew finds it inexplicably important to mention that the Rowdy Beaver serves genuine Coca-Cola products.

The Beaver adds a few Rowdy twists to their classic roadhouse fare. For example, Fried Green Beans ($5.99), the most ridiculous appetizer you've ever heard of, n'est-ce pas? Au contraire! Fried green beans are mmm, mmm down-home tasty.

Other uncommon appetizers include Fried Pickles ($4.50) and Crab Cakes with homemade Remoulade ($12.99). Not to worry, traditionalists, the Rowdy Beaver serves a classic ring, wing, cheese stick, chips 'n salsa appetizer menu too.

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We're not utterly mannerless savages here at Gay News, s0 we think it's only proper to pause, reflect, and share a moment of silent gratitude for Pastor Phillip Wilson--the best little jingle writer in the gay promotion business.

Sure, we'd like to take credit for gems like, «Eureka Springs is a gay Mecca,» or «Eureka Springs is a sex destination» and today, live from the Saint Louis Post-Dispatch, «Come to Eureka Springs — the most homosexual city in the South.»

Is there any officer in the Gay Recruitment Army who wouldn't be proud to pin those brilliant, strategic campaign ribbons on his custom tailored, 100% natural fiber uniform? No? We thought not.

Do you have any idea how much Coca-Cola pays for the kind of branding the good Reverend has given Eureka Springs ...for free? Yes? We thought so.

Here's to you, Rev. Wilson! May God continue to bless you.

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Eureka Springs has been known as an art enclave since the 1930's and the city's art community in 2007 is more vibrant than ever. With a population of 2100 the city is home to more than 300 artists with many more artisans scattered among the surrounding hillsides.

Listed in the top 25 USA art destinations by American Style magazine, Eureka has more than 20 galleries, hosts a month long festival in May devoted to the arts, and is home to the Eureka Springs School of the Arts.

On the first Saturday of each month several galleries participate in a stroll showcasing works by featured artists. Not to be missed is the Eureka Springs Fall Art Fair the Saturday and Sunday after Thanksgiving held in the Convention Center of the Inn of the Ozarks. During this show patrons will find the largest gathering of the town's artists under one roof than at any other time during the year.

«Art all over the place» is evident from the four by eight foot paintings beautifying a parking lot known as the Artery, to the Artists Colony on North Main Street, to an array of painted benches in downtown's Basin Park. It is not unusual to see painters set up on the streets creating works depicting the town's charm and beauty.

The art community, as might be expected, has many «family» members who add to the richness and vitality of the creative atmosphere. Many gay and lesbian artists create work as painters, sculptors, photographers, jewelers, and potters. The creative drive, whether it be to make a statement, make a living, or just to make something pretty, forges a bond in the enclave of artists that seemingly goes beyond many differences and divisions found in the population at large.

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Those cards, letters and now--computer viruses--keep pouring in from the American Family Association (AFA.) A brief lull was reported on Sunday, while AFA supporters enjoyed fire, brimstone and a hearty dinner of fried chicken and Parker House rolls.

By late afternoon on Monday, Eureka Springs city officials reported that the AFA's messages of Christian love, judgment, retribution and guaranteed involuntary bankruptcy for Eureka Springs now number in the thousands.

Yes, that's right. The same folks who rent their garments and mourned loudly over the homosexuality of SpongeBob SquarePants have targeted Eureka Springs. Why? We can answer that question here at Gay News but the story is a bit counter-intuitive. Try to keep up.

If you glance at the June Archives, you'll see that the Eureka Springs Domestic Partnership Registry (DPR) ordinance survived two attempts to force a referendum. The people who carried the referendum petitions explained, «Stop calling us 'bigots' already! We just think the DPR will kill faith-based tourism.»

(Note: You can see all the arguments, recorded for posterity, at ESTV - News Reports)

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