9:00 PM – Diversity Kick-Off featuring Miranda Ray.
Henri’s Just One More – 19 1⁄2 Spring Street

Friday, October 28, 2011:

3:00 PM – Maia Archote. Among a swarm of benefits, house concerts, festivals, and bar gigs, Maia has opened for the likes of: Marcia Ball and Badfinger. Eureka Live Underground Monkey Island Bar – 35 North Main

6:00 to 8:00 PM – Diversity Mixer. Mix and mingle. Giveaways, beer specials. $5.95 pizza buffet. The Pizza Bar – 13 North Main
6:30 PM – Mad Hatter Ball. Benefit for Eureka Springs School of the Arts. Food, music by Red Ambition, Artrageous attire and hats required. $50 per person. The Crescent Hotel – 75 Prospect Avenue. Tickets: www.esartschool.com/tickets_mad_hatter.htm
6:30 PM – Big Bad Gina. The Winners of the 2011 National Women’s Music Festival are back to rock Diversity Weekend. Big Bad Gina offers a fun and funky Goddess folk fusion with a soulful, jazzy flair.
New Delhi Café and Patio – 2 N. Main
8:00 PM – Underground Divas. Drag the night away underground. Eureka Live Underground – 35 North Main
9:00 PM – Monster Ball with DJ Remix . Monsters, Lady Gaga, awesome dance mixes. What more can you ask for on Diversity and Halloween? Henri’s Just One More – 191/2 Spring Street
9:00 PM – A Night of Illusion . Featuring female illusionists Miranda Ray, Dominique Daniels, and Nicole Vegas. Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
9:00 PM –Diversity Band. A Diversity Weekend favorite, Diversity Band plays your favorite 60s, 70s, and 80s hits. Chelsea’s – 10 Mountain Street
9:00 PM – Toto Jojo. Funk, jam, fusion, world band The Squid and the Whale – 10 Center Street
9:00 PM – Ashley McBryde. The talented singer-songwriter is back for Fall Diversity. Raw talent with a whiskey-washed sense of humor. Jack’s Center Stage – 37 Spring Street
10:30 PM – Howlfest 2011. Drag Show
The Lumberyard Restaurant and Saloon – 105 East Van Buren

Saturday, October 29, 2011:

11:00 AM – 2:00 PM – Brunch
Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
Noon – PDA (Public Display of Affection) in the Park. Pics, kisses, and an all around good time.
Basin Spring Park
Noon to 3:00 – Costume Pool Party and Polar Bear Swim. Wear your best pool costume and join your friends in the heated pool. Land-O-Nod Inn – 109 Huntsville Road

12:30 PM – Diversity Bikers. Best Costumed rider wins a prize Meet at Planer Hill parking lot, corner of Highway 62 and 23 (Van Buren and Main)
2:00 – 6:00 PM – Karaoke
Jack’s Center Stage – 37 Spring Street

3:00 PM – Maia Archote. Eureka Live Underground Monkey Island Bar – 35 North Main
4:00 PM – 3rd Annual Grand Opening Celebration
* 4:00 PM – Gwyneth & Monko, 6:30 PM – Toto Jojo, 9:30 PM – Andy Frasco and the UN, 11 PM – complementary buffet
The Squid and the Whale – 10 Center Street
5:30 PM – Voices from the Silent City. A colorful living history tour through the Eureka Springs cemetery
featuring live actors in costume playing the roles of early citizens reminiscing about their past lives. A
spirited good time is promised. Tours beginning at 5:30 p.m. and every 15 minutes thereafter until 8
p.m. Tours last approx. one hour. Tickets are $10. for adults and $5. for children 12 and under. Group
rates available. Call 479-253-9417 for Information.
6:00 PM – Miranda Ray, Dominique Daniels, and Nicole Vegas
Jack’s Center Stage – 37 Spring Street
6:30 PM – Big Bad Gina.
New Delhi Café and Patio – 2 N. Main
7:00 PM – Drag Show
The Lumberyard Restaurant and Saloon – 105 East Van Buren
7:00 PM – IRIS. A favorite of Diversity Fans returns! Chelsea’s – 10 Mountain Street
8:00 PM – Underground Drag
Eureka Live Underground – 35 North Main
9:00 PM – Monster Ball with DJ Remix
Henri’s Just One More – 191/2 Spring Street
9:00 PM – Expendables of Comedy . Get ready for an awesome night of comedy starring the funniest comics that are by no means EXPENDABLE. They have something for every race, gender, and sexual orientation! A truly universal comedy show with a refreshing sprinkle of flamboyant fun! Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
9:00 PM – Ashley McBryde
Jack’s Center Stage – 37 Spring Street
10:30 PM– Drag Show
The Lumberyard Restaurant and Saloon – 105 East Van Buren
11:00 PM to 3:00 AM – Breakfast After Hours
New Delhi Café and Patio – 2 N. Main

Sunday, October 30, 2011

11:00 AM – Brick-Fields . “The resonating sound and honest lyrics do what all good music should. It crosses the lines that divide us, giving each member of the audience something in common with each
other.” says Jennifer Burleigh.
New Delhi Café and Patio – 2 N. Main
11:00 AM – 2:00 PM – Brunch
Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
1:00 PM – IRIS Jam
Chelsea’s – 10 Mountain Street
3:00 PM – Big Bad Gina
Henri’s Just One More – 19 1⁄2 Spring Street
3:30 PM – The Carper Family, featuring Melissa Carper . Born on a cold winter night in 2009 to warm the hearts of happy-hour-goers at Austin’s legendary Hole in the Wall Bar, the Carper Family brought
together three of Austin’s most talented young country and bluegrass singers and pickers.
New Delhi Café and Patio – 2 N. Main

7:00 PM – Amateur Drag Show. Prizes. Eureka Live Underground – 35 North Main

8:00 PM – Dance with DJ Remix
Henri’s Just One More – 19 1⁄2 Spring Street
8:00 PM – Mountain Sprout. Mountain Sprout is a highly energetic hillbilly music machine, spitting
original tunes and blowing minds with original whitty lyrics and face melting musicianship.
The Squid and the Whale – 10 Center Street
8:30 PM – Big Bad Gina
Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
9:30 PM – Halloween Party and Costume Contest
The Lumberyard Restaurant and Saloon – 105 East Van Buren

Monday, October 31, 2011:

7:00 PM – Progressive Costume Contest . Haunt the streets of Eureka Springs in your best costume. Prizes along the way. Grand prize awarded at the end of the crawl. Start at New Delhi Café and Patio – 2 N. Main, progress to Henri’s Just One More – 19 1⁄2 Spring Street, end at Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
9:00 PM – Local Kine. The Squid and the Whale – 10 Center Street
9:00 PM – Masquerade Ball and Culmination of Progressive Costume Contest. Music by DJ Deb Voulez-Vous Lounge – 63A Spring Street in the Historic New Orleans Hotel
Time TBA – Halloween Costume Contest. Prizes. Eureka Live Underground – 35 North Main

Only in Eureka Springs . . .

September 12-18:

Equality in Print: Carnegie Library, 194 Spring St. Free Equality bookmarks and a special display of books–addressing the struggle for equal rights over the course of American history–that can be checked out.

September 17:

Equality in Film: Two moving documentaries presented by Social Justice Committee of the Unitarian Universalist Church 17 Elk St. At 2 p.m., “For My Wife“: Outraged at how she was treated during and after the death of her longtime life partner, Charlene Strong transforms herself from an office manager into a full-fledged civil rights activist who tells her story all across the U.S. At 3:30 p.m., “Fag Bug“: Turning a slur sprayed on her VW Beetle into a badge of honor, Sage College grad student Erin Davies hits the road to raise awareness of LGBT civil rights.

Equality Pub Crawl, 4:30 p.m. Start at Pied Piper Cathouse Lounge, end at Chelsea’s with hydration stops along the way at Smokey’s Firehouse Pub, New Delhi Cafe, Squid & Whale Pub, Henri’s Just One More, Jack’s Center Stage, Rowdy Beaver Den and Eureka Live.

Drumming for Equality, 6 p.m. at the Drum Attic at the Art Colony 185 North Main.

Drag & Dance for Equality Benefit, 9 p.m., Henri’s Just One More, featuring Miranda Ray and DJ Deb. Suggested $2 donation at the door to benefit Marriage Equality and the National Leather Association of NW Arkansas.

September 18:

Equality Walking Parade, 12:15-1 p.m. Bring your American flags, rainbow flags and equality flags. Gather at the Eureka Springs post office and march to the Carroll County Courthouse, 44 S. Main to welcome the “Equality Bus.”

On the Road to Equality Open House, 1-5 p.m., featuring the Human Rights Campaign’s “Equality Bus,” exhibits and photo and video booths, Carroll County Courthouse, 44 S. Main.

Equality Art Show, 6-8 p.m. at The Space 2 1/2 Pine St. See the works of Eureka Springs’ finest artists, designers, potters, photographers and sculptors: Zeek Taylor, John Rankine, Robert Norman, Jeremy Mason McGraw, John Rinehart, Don E. Allen, Rebecca Becker, Patrick Lujan, Lee Kroll, Julie Kahn Valentiine, Carol Dickie, Barbara Kennedy, Mark Hughes, Sherry Young, Shuggie Tucker and more. Contact Raven Derge, Practical Magic Art Supply, (479) 363-6395 or basinspringart@gmail.com

Reel Equality: At dusk in Basin Spring Park, the Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Marylin Monroe 1959 comedy classic, “Some Like It Hot.”

The bus will arrive on Sunday, September 18. Open to the public, the bus and its accompanying exhibits will be at the Carroll County courthouse at 44 S. Main St. from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Originally, only Little Rock was on the advocacy group’s Arkansas itinerary. But a successful, eleventh-hour e-mail campaign by the town’s residents convinced the HRC to add Eureka Springs to the tour schedule. “We all agreed that a stop in Eureka Springs made sense,” said an HRC official in Washington, DC.

“Our argument was that Eureka Springs is the only city in Arkansas to have made substantial gains in the realm of civil rights for gay people,” said Michael Walsh, author of a 2007 city law establishing the state’s first and only Domestic Partnership Registry.

In addition to a municipal non-discrimination employment policy, Eureka Springs is the only city in Arkansas to provide access to health insurance for the domestic partners of city workers. Also, a family medical leave policy allows municipal workers to take time off to care for ailing domestic partners or children.

In the wake of the HRC’s decision to re-route the equality bus to Eureka Springs, other community groups have joined forces to create an Equality Weekend September 16-18.

“Equality under the law for all American citizens is something everybody can support,” said local businessman and event coordinator John Jarrett. “We now have a variety of equality-themed events scheduled for before, during and after the arrival of the Equality Bus.”

Planned events include a performance by local drummers, an art exhibit, the showing of two documentary films, a parade, a pub crawl and an “Equality In Print” reading program by the Eureka Springs public library.

A full events schedule will be available soon.

The planned events on Saturday, September 17 include:
• Drumming for Equality, September 17, 6 p.m. at the Drum Attic at the Art Colony 185 North Main.
• Equality in Print, Carnegie Library, 194 Spring St.
• Equality in Film: Two documentaries, Social Justice Committee of the Unitarian Universalist Church 17 Elk St., 2 p.m. and 3:30 p.m.

On Sunday, September 18 follow the Eureka Springs Equality Trail:
• Equality Walking Parade, 12:15-1 p.m., from Eureka Springs post office to the Carroll County Courthouse, 44 S. Main.
• On the Road to Equality Open House, exhibits and photo and video booths: Human Rights Campaign, 1-5 p.m., Carroll County Courthouse, 44 S. Main.
• Equality Pub Crawl, 4:30 p.m. from The Cat House to Chelsea’s (also Squid & Whale, Henri’s Just One More and Eureka Live). Sponsored by Every Tourist Counts.
• The Art of Equality art show/exhibition 6-8 p.m. by Eureka Springs artists at The Space, 2 Pine St.

Ironically, I was vacationing in New York and the District of Columbia–both places where the question of whether I deserve to have the same rights as any other American citizen is settled (and where the answer is, “yes I do”)–while the Beebe/LGBT argument was going on–back home in Arkansas.

The first item I read on the topic was Max Brantley’s Mike Beebe’s Very Bad Night. I was incensed. I started searching and clicking on reports about the event.

The governor, it seemed, had committed a gross violation of Southern Hospitality by choosing the event to tell an official caucus, “I don’t care about your concerns; the State of Arkansas doesn’t care about your concerns and I don’t think anybody should.”

The Stonewall Democrats, it seemed, had committed a gross violation of advocacy by meekly thanking the governor for his “historic appearance” without mentioning the fact that the governor schooled the group on “tolerance” and appropriate public behavior–as though the governor were the wise and long-suffering father of a batch of petulant, unruly, unreasonable children who merely needed a good paddling.

Then I listened to the audio file of the Q&A session and spent a ridiculous amount of time transcribing it. (The results of my obsessive project are recorded below.)

I decided that the kabuki dance of politics, or any questions about how politicians ought to behave according to the rules of official cordiality, were less important than the implications of what the governor actually said.

First, the test

Here’s a quotation; see if you can identify its source:

[It] is not a right. It is a privilege that may or may not be granted. [There is] special role played by the family in sustaining civilization.

Society as at present constituted is based upon the Family as the social unit. Whatever tends to disintegrate this organic family unity is a violation of the divine constitution, and can work only mischief.

To deny or ignore this law is to deny the plainest facts, and to fly in the face of nature itself, nature and reason, no less than Scripture….St. Paul…appeals in his argument chiefly to nature and the laws written by the Creator, which no social facts or customs can essentially change….

What the effect on the strength of the marriage bond, already so fearfully relaxed, of this new disturbing and strife breeding element?

If you think this sounds like the current argument that equal marriage should not be allowed because of its deleterious effect on marriage, the family and proper obedience to scripture–I agree.

But the above excerpt is not a current event. It is from a 19th century pamphlet that explains why women should not be allowed to vote.

Oh. That again?

In every case where a minority has demanded the full rights of American citizenship, the historical arguments have been eerily—not just similar—they’ve been the same.

Slavery. Suffrage. Segregation. Spouses—the right to choose a mate and to have the same benefits as all other adults with the same opportunity to choose. When these questions arise, the argument against the minority position invariably goes like this:

The Bible tells us what we need to do and all of man’s laws are, at their root, based on biblical principles. Violation of these rules is a violation of the law of nature. Nature, and society as a whole, is based on the family unit. If you violate the law of nature, you will destroy the family and that will inevitably result in the destruction of society.

Besides, it’s been this way since the dawn of time and we see no reason to change a system that has worked so beautifully for so long. Future generations will, no doubt, have a different answer but, for now, it’s your duty to understand why we feel the way we do. If you want to have the same rights that we enjoy, you must prove you are worthy by cheerfully submitting to the laws of man and nature.

Remember that what you’re asking for is against the law.

Which is generally true at the time the statement is made. When Governor Beebe says, in answer to a question about de facto discrimination, “Well but that’s the law. That’s the constitution and that’s just the way it is,” the governor is correct.

It’s against the law for gays and lesbians to get married. That is, indeed, just the way it is. As it was when Dred Scott sued for his freedom and lost. As it was when Alice Paul, Lucy Burns and 216 other women were jailed and tortured for the crime of picketing the White House for the right to vote. As it was when Rosa Parks broke the law by refusing to move to the back of a Montgomery bus. As it was when Dr. Martin Luther King, whom the governor quoted, was repeatedly arrested during America’s battle for the civil rights of African Americans.

As it was against the law for the parents of the President of the United States to be married in the year of Obama’s birth—and, in Arkansas, for ten years after that.

What the governor failed to mention

In a moving tribute to his mother’s “great personality” and “great work ethic,” Governor Beebe explains that his position on adoption and foster care has evolved, but that it was originally formed by an “unconventional” childhood:

And so, when you’re a fourth grader or a fifth grader and your mama’s last name changes every few months, or every few years—more often than every few years—it affects you. It doesn’t affect me today and it wouldn’t have affected me as an adult you can deal with that…

I brought that baggage with me about what happens to a kid in an unconventional relationship and what happens to a kid in school and what happens to a kid through no fault of that kid’s about what society does to the kid. And that formed my opinion.

You could argue that children should be protected from “unconventional relationships,” in which case, you could argue just as easily that mothers shouldn’t be allowed to marry more than twice, or that parents shouldn’t be allowed to divorce at all, or that society should be able to choose who is allowed to marry, and who is not—which is, in fact, the statement that was once made about mixed-race relationships–the same statement that’s made about gays and lesbians today.

But the part the governor failed to mention is the most important part of the problem kids have with societal disapproval of their parents’ relationships: Children don’t know if adult relationships are odd, or not, until their parents tell them what to say.

The children who made the future governor’s life a living hell in elementary school had to hear the taunts at home before they took them to the playground.

The parents who taught the children how to mock the future governor’s family took their cue from the leaders of their day.

What the governor did mention

In one of the most widely quoted remarks from the governor’s Q&A, when asked if he believed that LGBT people are discriminated against in Arkansas, Governor Beebe answered, “I don’t think that’s discrimination because I think that’s appropriate societal judgment.”

Consider the context of this remark. The elected leader is addressing an official caucus of his party when he tells the assembled group, “It’s right to discriminate against you because society appropriately regards you as unworthy of consideration.”

That sort of remark is only possible if you know you’ll be bathed in approval and admiration—at least as soon as you leave the room. You need to know that you are reflecting the feelings of the masses, and that the parents who share those prejudices will teach their children to taunt the offspring of the objects of your derision once they get those kids alone on the playground.

Only then can you be entirely comfortable with telling a group of peers, “You don’t matter.” Because, in that case, they don’t.

You don’t need the help or approval of people with whom you share a political affiliation or other common goals when you have warm, undiscriminating, faithful love and approval from the masses who, as the governor put it, “come to these things for different reasons…some illegitimate, some legitimate.”

Indeed, what does it matter if your position makes sense, if there is any logic to it, if you can defend your position without resorting to “well, you just have to have faith?” You don’t need a rational or scientific or moral reason to decide that a group is unworthy of consideration when you have unconsidered opinions and unexamined feelings on your side. Especially if you have lots and lots of them.

Except that mopping up the unconsidered opinions and unexamined feelings of the greatest number of people so you can squeeze out the same debris that you swabbed in is the function of a sponge. Reflecting a view is the function of a mirror. Reflecting the view of a large number of people is simply the function of a larger mirror.

Neither sponges nor mirrors are ever described as “leaders.” Leaders don’t mimic the crowd. Leaders set the terms of the discussion.

The problem is, in a word–two words–reason and history

The argument that there is no credible reason to deny LGBT citizens the same rights and benefits that every other American citizen enjoys have been made, and ignored, so often it seems pointless to bring those arguments up again. Scientists and sociologists and psychiatrists and religious scholars regularly demonstrate that there is no cause to fear for the children, or the wrath of God, or the breakdown of marriage and society when LGBT people have the same rights and protections that everybody else enjoys.

“Don’t worry,” say the scholars. “Here’s my considered argument. Here are the supporting facts and figures.”

Doesn’t matter.

Except in the sense that was referred to by a member of the audience when he quoted Dr. Martin Luther King, “The arc of history is long but it bends towards justice.”

It does. The arc of history does bend toward justice but, when it comes to the law, that’s not because there’s any sort of mysterious or mythical or magical principle in play.

The arc of legal history bends toward justice because the law is based on reason and reason is the antidote for unconsidered thoughts and unexamined feelings.

Sooner or later, every law based on the feelings of people who “just feel like it ought to be this way” has fallen to the scythe of reason. The more arguments that are made about “feelings,” and the need to have unexamined “faith,” the more ridiculous those old, mercifully abandoned laws look in retrospect.

I’ll admit that I long for a southern leader who would say, “Look. The arguments we’re using against LGBT rights aren’t going to work any better than they did when we said the same things about slaves and women and voting and segregation. I, for one, am tired of being among the last of the states to get on every boat in American history.”

Perhaps Governor Beebe will evolve to become the southern leader of my dreams.

Perhaps not.

Meanwhile, there’s a difference between saying, “It’s the law,” and “it should be.”

I agree with Governor Beebe when he says, “Performance and the example of people their in the way they act, the way they perform, the way they do their job, the way they go about their business is often the best educator.”

Historically, the people who are the best educators are also the ones who stand up and say, «This is a bad law. It doesn’t make sense.»

No reasonable person would ask society for approval of his or her relationship. Who gets that? Who doesn’t have a friend or family member whose choice of spouse never fails to provoke universal eye-rolling?

Admitting gays and lesbians to the human family, to the traditional family reunion activity of gossiping about “what does she see in him!?! her?!?” will, in no way, affect the traditional heterosexual opportunity to enjoy the same criticism of personal relationships.

Still, being a competent member of society and working to make society better are not incompatible positions. History will be kind to the people in Arkansas who are capable of doing both.

In the meantime, there’s no reason for the people who are capable of seeing the inevitable outcome to remain silent now and wait for history to prove us right in the end.

We can and should continue to speak up.

And we will.

Arkansas Governor Beebee’s Q&A with the Stonewall Democrats
June 2011, transcribed from KUAR with most of the governor’s verbal tics (“um, ah, um I”) removed:

Audience: More than half the states have laws banning employment and housing discrimination on the basis of either sexual orientation and gender identity or sexual orientation alone. Do you think a law banning discrimination against LGBT has any chance of passing in Arkansas?

Beebe: No. I don’t. I just don’t. I don’t think it will.

The bottom line is people living in just plain human dignity being treated with human dignity you ought to judge people based upon their performance or how they act or whatever but to answer your question no I don’t think it has a chance.

Audience: Do you think it’s just a matter of time or … [interrupted]

Beebe: Oh lots of things change with time. I mean you’re seeing a lot of that already. But I wouldn’t begin to speculate. You read as many tea leaves as I do. It’s not what you want to hear but it’s my honest answer.

Audience: Based on your experience as an attorney do you think DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act, will be overturned?

Beebe: You need to ask Bill Clinton that.

It’s been a while since I’ve been a real lawyer. I’m a recovering lawyer. As I understand it, I think all of that turns, I believe it will turn, on whether or not a court determines if that is a state issue or a federal issue. I don’t know how they’ll come out on that.

The court is 5 to 4 on a whole lot of stuff right now, I’m talking about the U.S. Supreme Court, is 5 to 4 on a whole lot of stuff right now and apparently Kennedy is the swing vote on a lot of stuff. Whether or not they say that is a proper preemption or whether it’s not a proper preemption or whether they kick it in the can down the road to the states is anybody’s guess.

I think that’s a very close question as to whether the Supreme Court will uphold that or say, “it’s up to the individual states.” I think they’ll do one of the two however. I don’t think—there’s a third alternative there that just, just—but I don’t think they’ll go that third alternative.

Audience: An Arkansas newspaper recently refused to list the deceased person’s long time gay partner. Do you think that is an issue the government should be involved in and, if not, how do you think we should fight something like that?

Beebe: Well first no I don’t think the government ought to be involved in it. Second I think you’re wrong and I’ll tell you why I think you’re wrong.

If I understand the facts, if I understand the facts on this issue, ’cause it was brought up and talked about whenever it occurred, I understand the facts and well let me just say it like this. The way I understand the facts this was an unpaid obituary and on an unpaid obituary they don’t list any partner whether it’s a gay or straight. Only actual legal married relatives are listed in an unpaid.

So if that’s the truth then they weren’t singling out a lesbian or a gay obituary to treat differently than they do straight obituaries. They don’t list that.

Also as I understand it then their followed up with a very with a paid obituary in which they did list it. In which case you’re being treated non-discriminatorily by the paper. So if that’s true I don’t think you got an argument.

Audience: They refused to run that paid obituary and they lied to GLAAD, to their faces, and told them they were going to change the policy and put in an apology in the newspaper and ran an ugly, hateful, full-page ad.

Beebe: Well my understanding was they did run the paid one. You’re saying they didn’t?

Audience member: No they did not.

Beebe: Huh. Then my facts are wrong. They should run the paid one if they’re gonna run paid ones run paid ones.

Audience member: That sort of ignores the issue that still straight people can be married and same-sex couples can’t. So it’s de facto discrimination any way you look at it.

Beebe: Well but that’s the law. That’s the constitution and that’s just the way it is.

Audience: And you don’t see a problem with that?

Beebe: No I think marriage is an institution as defined in the law and that you and I disagree on that. I do have a problem with that. That is a fundamental disagreement that you and I have.

Audience: Do they check marriage certificates before they print?

Beebe: I don’t know the answer to that.

Audience: Governor Beebe I’d like to know since there is a fundamental disagreement how do you feel about civil unions here in Arkansas? And also recognition of marriages or civil unions from other states?

Beebe: Well first of all if there’s a constitutional prohibition against marriage in Arkansas other than a man and a woman then I think that law applies and I’m not sure Full Faith and Credit applies on someone coming from another state. But I’d have to defer to a lawyer who researched that to tell you the truth. I don’t think civil unions are going to occur in Arkansas either.

Audience: The newspaper in question is my hometown paper and the excluded partner in question grew up in my neighborhood. The unique situation is that the lawyer that represents and has an ownership interest in the paper actually was the lawyer for children who challenged the Initiated Act 1 law.

So I know people on both sides. I don’t know the facts. I don’t know. What I do know is that things like that are so disheartening. They’re one of the reasons why I and I know other people in this room stick around and fight for social justice issues whether it be race discrimination, mental health issues, LGBT discrimination. While we see some progress, we have so far to go.

Are there any things that you think that we can do to make our state more conducive to having equal treatment for all people? Are there some things we shouldn’t do? Any tips would be appreciated.

Beebe: Performance and the example of people their in the way they act, the way they perform, the way they do their job, the way they go about their business is often the best educator. Uh I was only, I was only partially facetious earlier when I was talking about the applause that Kathy Webb got. As I recall it wasn’t that many months ago that we had members of the General Assembly who openly questioned whether she should be budget chairman. Am I telling the truth Kathy?

I mean they openly they weren’t just whispering about it. I think it was open. And I, I think that I can categorically state that every legislator that I know, on either side of the aisle, Republican or Democrat, tolerant or intolerant, receptive or non-receptive, would come away with high praise for the job she did and for the way she professionally handled her duties as chairman of the budget.

Those kinds of things actually speak louder than marches or protests or anything else. That’s in my opinion, uh, that’s the best answer I can give to your question.

Now, I mean, there’s some people here mad. I mean, this lady back here has got her arms folded in what is typically the “I’m mad at you” pose and I can respect that. And and and truly I can respect and understand that.

If you want tolerance, if you want understanding, you’ve got to give it too. If you don’t get every answer you like but somebody is telling you honestly what they think then you ought to respect that as much as you’re asking that person to respect you. If we all looked alike, thought alike, believed alike, acted alike you wouldn’t even have an organization.

So be tolerant if you’re asking for tolerance. Understand that there are deep-seated and deep-held feelings by people who truly, honestly believe, for whatever reason, that they’re right and that you may be wrong. That there are people who, just as they did with Dr. King said, “Go slow,” and Dr. King said, “We’re not gonna go slow.”

Uh and some times that marriage of competing interests and competing ideals come together. Sometimes you just hit a brick wall and it just ends up, uh, you end up flat on your face. The most important thing is stop hating. Everybody. Everybody stop hating. Everybody try to be a little more empathetic and a little more tolerant. Everybody understand that there are certain lines some people won’t cross. Uh and and in my opinion, one of that, one of those things is marriage. That’s my honest opinion.

Uh, it may not be the most popular opinion in this room but it is my honest opinion. Uh and that’s why I’m here is to tell you what I truly think.

Audience: Thank you for being here governor. In speaking in terms strictly of government, do you think that LGBT people are discriminated against in Arkansas?

Beebe: Well if, if you measure that by whether or not you believe there should be a law that permits marriage other than between a man and a woman, then you’ve answered your own question because that law is there. I don’t think that’s discrimination because I think that’s appropriate societal judgment. I think that’s an appropriate societal uh now do I think anybody ought to come in your bedroom and tell you what to do? Nope. Nope.

Audience: Employment discrimination?

Beebe: No I think you ought to be judged in employment by how well you do your employment. Period. Regardless of what you look like or what your or what else you’re doing.

Audience: If you’re fired for being gay in this state do you think that’s discrimination?

Beebe: Oh if somebody is fired for being gay in the state I–I’m not sure that’s not against the law already.

[groans and laughter from audience]

Beebe: It’s not?

Audience: That was question number two. Maybe we should go back to that one.

Beebe: One more? It’s my last question so..

Audience: Since you quoted Dr. King I’d also like to: “The arc of history is long but it bends towards justice.” President Obama has been quoted a lot in the LGBT press as saying that he is evolving on marriage equality. He said that as new information comes to light, as new personal experiences and relationships occur, he’s having to reconsider his stance on marriage equality. I’d like to give you the opportunity to talk about your own personal evolution on LGBT rights in general.

Beebe: I promise you this is not a setup. I guess those who know him [the questioner] know it is not a setup. But there’s a great example and Joyce Elliott’s here and she’s somebody that can, she watched this evolution.

Let me go back. In ’06 I opposed, uh, the uh, or I favored the ban, uh, on foster parenting and adoption against , uh, non-married couples. And uh there’s a part of that went back to my own deep-seated past and history.

Y’all ought to take this off the record. Like they’re going to. Not really what I’m going to say that they really should have on the record but my own personal history. Uh they’re not gong to take it off the record but I thought I’d challenge them to do that anyway.

You know my mother was a great person. She had uh she had me as a teenager and she never finished high school and she had a great personality and a great work ethic and the only thing she knew how to do, the only thing she could do to support herself and raise me all by herself was wait on tables. She was a waitress all her life. She never even had a driver’s license. Never owned a car.

What she was not, and this is what I’d just as soon y’all be careful with, she’s dead but I’d still soon you’d be careful with it, she didn’t have good judgment with men. And I had a bunch of stepdads, some good, some not so good.

When you’re, and I was growing up in the “Leave it to Beaver” America, OK? In the 50′s and I was in grade school when everybody had a mom and a dad and a car and a picket fence and “Ozzie and Harriet” was on TV and “Leave it to Beaver” was on TV.

And so, when you’re a fourth grader or a fifth grader and your mama’s last name changes every few months, or every few years—more often than every few years—it affects you. It doesn’t affect me today and it wouldn’t have affected me as an adult you can deal with that. When you’re a fifth grader or sixth grader, and you know I found in a bible. In fact it was the bible that I was sworn in as governor on. It was given to me by one of those stepdads one of the mean ones one of the bad ones when I was like in the fifth grade.

In the front of it it’s got my name in there and it’s got it scratched out with a stepdad’s last name that matched my mother’s and scratched out when I mean so.

I brought that baggage with me about what happens to a kid in an unconventional relationship and what happens to a kid in school and what happens to a kid through no fault of that kid’s about what society does to the kid. And that formed my opinion.

Joyce and I had a heck of an argument about this back in ’06. I had a couple of arguments with people over this.

I evolved. And then, when the whole issue came up about Act 1, when the whole issue came up about foster parenting and adoption, I publicly came out in opposition to the act, publicly came out and said, “each one of those decisions should be handled on a case-by-case basis, decided by a judge of competent jurisdiction with only one test and that’s what’s in the best interest of a child.”

Now I was shocked that that didn’t carry that way in the state because all the polling suggested that it
was going to carry that way. I’m not sure why that, well, there is a lot of speculation about that.

That is an example of my evolution. If you’re asking me if I have evolved in the same fashion that Obama has on the other issue no I that hasn’t happened. But that is an example and I think you have to understand that people come to these things from different perspectives and for different reasons, some illegitimate, some legitimate.

So anyway. It wasn’t a setup question I didn’t know he was going to ask that but that’s an example of my own evolution on some of these issues okay?

The city’s insurance provider, the Arkansas Municipal League, notified the city that beginning January 1, 2011 both same- and opposite-sex partners of city workers will have the same access to health insurance as legal spouses.

The announcement culminated a year-long campaign by residents of the Northwest Arkansas tourist town which in June 2007 became the first city in the state to enact a Domestic Partnership Registry ordinance to officially recognize unmarried couples in committed relationships.

“Once again, Eureka Springs is leading by example, this time in the realm of workplace equality,” said Michael Walsh, who helped lead the effort to expand health care coverage. “Marital status shouldn’t be the deciding factor in access to ‘family plan’ insurance. Legally wed or not, all city workers should get the same employment benefits, including access to health insurance for their partners.”

Expanding the definition of “family dependent” was “the right thing to do,” Eureka Springs Mayor Dani Joy wrote to the Municipal League in August, just weeks before the city council passed a resolution endorsing domestic partnership insurance coverage.

“I am aware as well as you that some will construe this as a ‘gay issue’,” said Joy. “But the reality is that there are many heterosexual couples who chose to live together in a committed relationship – as a family – without entering into the civil contract of marriage,. These folks face the same ‘family’ challenges every day, not the least of which is providing health care for themselves and for those who are dependent on them. . . . the definition of family is at the center of our concerns.”

Joy and city Transit Director Lamont Richie met with the Arkansas Municipal League Nov. 4 to lobby for a more inclusive health insurance policy.

Today’s announcement that their efforts were successful “is a huge step forward,” said Richie.

“And though only employees of the City of Eureka Springs will be able to take advantage of it for now,” he said,  “other communities in the state may be encouraged to adopt their own Domestic Partnership Registries as a means of providing health insurance benefits to domestic partners of their employees.”

Big and black.

He came to us about 11 years ago, getting away from a neighbor who wasn’t taking very good care of him. He wandered into the garage one day looking painfully skinny and asked for a drink of milk. I put a saucer on the floor, he drank. Then I gave him a little tuna. He thanked me, and went back home.

This became a daily routine. He got to know my car by sight. When I’d come home from work and pulled in the drive, here would come the kitty, galloping across the street for his ration of tuna and milk. The woman who owned him also owned another cat and a dog. She didn’t take care of any of the animals. About two weeks after we met Lenix, the woman moved out of town. Lenix stayed with us. We became cat-nappers. He preferred tuna and milk, and the occasional massage, over her poor treatment of him. A check-up with the veterinarian indicated that Lenix was approximately two years old, neutered, declawed, and in pretty good health in spite of being so skinny.

Now, I’ve always considered myself a ‘dog person’. I love dogs. I like cats too, but I’ve always preferred dogs. I don’t know if that’s changed or not since having Lenix around, but I certainly count cats among my favorite animals. Their beauty, their gracefulness, their ‘above-it-all’ attitude is admirable.

For 11 years now, Lenix has been training us. He allows us to stay in his house, as long as we provide lots and lots of food. He’s always preferred wet, canned food over dry. (Don’t most kitties?) We’ve experimented with every brand of canned cat food there is. Some he likes pretty well. Others, not so much. ‘You expect me to eat this crap?!’ Have you ever seen a cat STOMP away from a dish of food? This one does!

We eat a lot of hamburger at my house. One day, while opening a package of fresh hamburger, I thought maybe Lenix would like a taste. He LOVED it. I have no idea if I should be giving him hamburger, but he seemed to like it so well, I figured a little dab, about the size of a nickel, couldn’t hurt much. After all, cats are carnivores. If they can take such delight in eating dead mice, why not a teaspoon-sized piece of hamburger?

This is the routine: About once each week I make something involving hamburger. Lenix will stretch out from the floor to the top of the kitchen cabinet, front paws just reaching the counter . . . he screams for a bite. I give him a little. Ahhhh, pure heaven for the puss!

Over the years Lenix has packed on the pounds. Cans of Salmon Delight and the occasional taste of hamburger will do that to a kitty I guess. Beer and nachos while watching football with his humans adds to the girth. But I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks that he seems to be shedding his (ample) weight, quickly. TOO quickly. We decided it would be a good idea to have the vet check him out. I always hate to take the cat anywhere. Traveling stresses kitties. A dog will ride in a car and love it, but cats are home bodies. They like known surroundings – THEIR space. But this sudden weight loss is cause for concern, so stressful or not, he’s got to go to the doctor.

Fred took him on his way to work. Lenix would spend the night in the vet’s office, while the doctor ran some tests and took x-rays.

We heard from the doctor yesterday. Not good news. The vet told us there was a ‘mass’ around his spleen and stomach. The blood work indicated cancer, and the doctor thought that due to the aggressive nature, it was most likely in other parts of his body too. We had to make a decision. The vet said that no matter our decision, the cat wouldn’t last long. He could give us some medication to keep Lenix as comfortable as possible, but the end was near, regardless.

Would the cat really be comfortable? Would he be in pain? Would he be able to even walk in a week or two? What kind of life would our beloved kitty have, in the short time left?

We drove to the vet’s office. We had a little package of kitty treats. I swear, that cat grinned when we walked in the examination room. ‘My humans are here!’ We fed him the little treats and massaged him from head to toe. Lenix purred. For about 30 minutes we told him he was a beautiful, good kitty and we gently stroked him.

The vet said he would simply ‘go to sleep’. I can only hope that’s true. After a couple of injections, he put his head down and . . . was gone. Fred, my son and I were bleary-eyed. The doctor was quite compassionate. ‘All the times I’ve done this, it never gets any easier.’ We lined a box with a towel, put Lenix in and took him home to bury him. Fred started digging a hole between the patio and the privacy hedge. One of Lenix’s favorite places to lounge in the sun.

While Fred dug the hole, I started dinner. We were going to have fried hamburgers. My son took a piece of hamburger and said, his voice cracking, ‘I’m going to put this with Lenix.’ He opened the box, pulled the towel back and placed the ball of hamburger under a front paw. We folded the towel back and closed the box. Then we buried the BEST cat in the world.

I’m all ferklempt just typing this. I already miss that cat terribly.

Now, I know some people will say, ‘Good God, Yip. It’s just a cat for crying out loud!’ No, he was not JUST a cat. He was a member of our family. While I would never equate a pet’s life with that of a human (most humans, anyway) he was STILL part of our family.

Often times gay people choose their families, for a number of reasons. More often than not, those families include pets. Parakeets, fish, dogs, and certainly cats. Unlike our blood relatives, our pets never question why we do what we do. They don’t care what we look like, how much money we have, what kind of car we drive. They’re happy to just hang around with us, hoping for a kind word and a pat on the head.

We seldom deserve their devotion.

Lenix chose us to be his family, and we are better for it. Lenix was not JUST a cat. He was part of us. He was the BEST cat in the world.

1970.   A hot summer night.

Friend Libby and I are cruising through the Westport area, when we get the munchies.  A couple of Libby’s REALLY good doobies will do that to a person.  Just down the street is Woolfburgers, a greasy spoon (really greasy)  where the ‘hippy set’ dines.  Libby parks her Pontiac right in front.  We run the gauntlet of people like us, sitting in front of Wolfburgers, panhandling.

‘Spare change?  Got some spare change for me buddy?’

‘I’m real hungry, man.  Spare change?’

We enter.  The floor is slippery.  It’s always slippery.

Grease.

We slide to a table and order two coffees and one order of French fries.  The waitress scowls.  She’s accustomed to people like us, who order small quantities of food.  She’s probably thinking she should be waiting tables in the suburbs, where people order full meals and tip 15 percent.  Instead, she’s stuck in this chintzy neighborhood where 50 cents is considered a large tip.

It’s a small restaurant.  Maybe 8 or 10 tables.  Most of their business is carry-out, from the panhandlers who finally beg enough money for a burger or two.  So we’re sitting there in Woolfburgers giggling over our coffee and fries.  Libby’s REALLY good doobies will do THAT to a person, too.

A girl sitting at the next table is staring at the ceiling for quite a while.  Libby and I just figure she’s stoned or something.  Then, the girl says to the guy with her, ‘Mike, they’re back.  Look. There they are.’  Mike looks at the ceiling.  ‘Oh, wow!’

Of course, Libby and I look at the ceiling to see who ‘they’ are.

The ceiling in Woolfburgers was one of those suspended deals, with tiles that are about 2 feet by 3 feet, with light fixtures the same size, flush with the ceiling, with 4 fluorescent bulbs in each one.

There ‘they’ are.

Mice.

Two good-sized mice, scurrying across the frosted plastic just below the light bulbs.  Libby squeals just a little and looks at me, ‘Is that real, or am I stoned?’

‘Oh, it’s them alright!’ says the girl at the next table.  ‘They show up every now and then.’  Mike says, ‘They ain’t hurtin’ nothin’.  I think we should name them Heckle and Jeckle.’  The girl giggles and says, ‘But there could be a lot more of them.  What would we name all of them?’  Mike says, ‘The Mormon Tabernacle Choir?’  The girl giggles uncontrollably and, gasping between giggles, says, ‘We call this place Mouseburgers.’

Libby and I decide it’s time to go.  We leave most of our French fries.  The waitress is sitting in the back, smoking a cigarette and looking at the ceiling.   We never went back to eat at Mouseburgers.

The place isn’t there any more.   I can’t imagine why.

I arrived back in the flatlands Sunday afternoon after a nifty weekend in Eureka Springs.

When I escape for a weekend, I usually stop by my office to check mail, phone messages, make sure the place is still there, etc. before the work week starts. Sort of a jump-start on Monday morning.

Well, this past weekend, while I was enjoying adult beverages and conversation in Arkansas, someone got a jump-start on me.

I walk into the building to find broken glass all over the bathroom. Someone broke one of the two windows there. The bathroom is at the back of the building, as are two back doors on different ends of the building, overlooking a parking lot that is not visible from the street.

Shit.

I walk to the other side of the building….the window in the door there is broken too.
Double shit.

Nothing is missing in the building, as far as I can tell. Nothing really messed up, except glass all over the place.

I figure if I’m going to report this to insurance, I’m going to have to have a police report. So, I call the police.

Copper shows up. ‘Well, Yip, this is an attempted burglary.’

Yip: Yeah? I just figured it was kids. I don’t think anything is missing.

Cop: You have a cash drawer?

Yip: Yeah. It’s got about 68 cents in it. And it’s all there.

Cop: I’m still going to call it an attempted burglary.

Yip: Well, whatever works.

We look around the parking lot in the back. Ah ha! Part of a cinder block is laying beneath the bathroom window. That’s probably what they used to break the glass. But wait! There’s BLOOD! Little spatters and drops all around the base of the window.

Cop: I’d better take a swab of this. If this is in the data base we might be able to connect the perp with other illegal activity.

Yip: Wow. That’s cool. Maybe we can collar a perp!

Cop: (now sounding even more ‘official’ than before, lowering voice slightly) That’s what I do, Yip. Collar perps and put away the bad guys. It’s my job.

The copper takes a little thing out of his pocket. It looks like a Q-Tip. He breaks one end of the Q-Tip. ‘See that liquid? That’s saline. It will soak into the cotton so I can swab the blood.’

Sure enough, I see liquid flowing down a tube into the cotton at the end. The copper dabs the cotton on one of the larger blood drops, then puts it in a little vial for safe keeping.

Cop: You never want to touch the cotton. It will contaminate the sample. We don’t want our DNA on here. Only the perps’.

Yip: Isn’t it supposed to turn purple or something?

Cop: Not in the saline. You know, a lot of what you see on those CSI shows is Hollywood at work.

**I’m thinking to myself** Too bad you’re not as hot looking as one of the CSI dudes.

Cop: Okay. I’m going to file this report. If I were you, I’d try to secure this window and door with plywood until you can have it replaced.

**again, thinking to myself** No shit?! I figured I could just leave it open for weather, small animals and …. PERPS to enter my building and make themselves at home! Not only are you not as hot looking as the CSI dudes, you’re not as smart, either!

(apparently the cop read my mind) ‘Those actors have scripts, Yip. What I do is all REAL.‘

So, while wishing the local cops were as handsome as CSI actors, I begin scouting around for plywood. The only good thing about this is that whoever did the deed got cut in the process. Bastard. There was no blood trail leading to a corpse, so I guess he got away.

Welcome home, Yip.

Last night we were sitting around talking about that Jeopardy show, and how difficult some of the questions are. We were drinking Coconut Blazers (with little paper umbrellas!). By the third Blazer, he was saying

Brother: Naw, they ain’t that hard. I know most of them.

Yip: Bullshit.

Brother: No, really. Go ahead – ask me ANY question, I’ll bet I know the answer.

Yip: You’re on! Okay, let me think for a minute here. Okay, here’s one:
If revenge is a dish best served cold, what is a dish best served to 14 people in a row boat headed for disaster?

Brother: HA! Simple! The answer is purple bath robe!

Y: Okay, that was pretty easy. Here ya go:
If no English words rhyme with ‘orange’, what is the distance, in meters from Nebraska to the roof of my mouth?

B: Um….Venetian blinds.

Y: NO!! The answer is Benjamin Franklin! HA! GOTCHA!

B: Damn. I should have known that one. *thinking to self for a moment* Wait a minute here!! This is Tuesday! The answer is glycerin suppository!

Y: Shit! You’re right. I keep forgetting about The Tuesday Rule.

B: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! You dumb ass.

~~~
Guess I’d better read more comic books.

I was over England way doing a line with Whitney Houston.  Whitney has enough money that she can buy some really GOOD shit, too.    Just about the time we got to feelin’ pretty good, some super model whose name I can’t remember right now (SSMWNICRRN), walked in the room and threw a cell phone at me!

Now, I’m a pretty easy goin’ guy, but I’ll tell you what! When SSMWNICRRN throws a cell phone at me, while I’m doin’ a line with a pop diva (most ANY pop diva) well, that’s when I tend to lose my cool.

I stood up, told SSMWNICRRN, ‘I don’t like that very much!’   (Yes, I can get verbally abusive under such circumstances. Guess I really told her!!) and I stormed out of the room.

It was a grand exit, too! Sort of like Loretta Young when she would come through the door at the beginning of that show she had on teevee, only it  was in reverse. And I wasn’t wearing a long, flowing gown. On that particular day I had chosen Capri pants and flats, with a simple knit top. It seemed appropriate attire for doing a line with Whitney.

I think Ms. Houston knows I’m upset over the brouhaha. She hasn’t tried to call me or anything, but she knows I’ll cool down soon enough. After all, it wasn’t really her fault.

Besides, on the plane back to the good ole’ U. S. of A., I was seated next to that cute little gal who didn’t win American Idol. (First class, of course.) We sang all of Gale Storm’s hit all the way home!

She invited me into the toilet to do a line with her, one of the cabin attendants, and the co-pilot. Unfortunately the toilet wasn’t big enough for all of us, and the co-pilot was a bit pushy about getting his first, so I contented myself with reading a month-old copy of Cosmo and sipping a dirty martini. It all turned out fine in the long run. I learned a lot about the female orgasm from Cosmo, and the martini was absolutely delicious!

So, that’s where I’ve been.  Not masturbating, or anything like that, just flying around the world doing lines with famous and not-so-famous pop divas.

You’re welcome.