We knew it was bound to happen.

Choppers in the air, FBI with 12» telephoto lenses cleverly concealed in black sedans and tall grass plus more State Police than flies at a July picnic. They were poised, ready, alert and on-guard en masse.

For weeks they have been working with local law enforcement in surrounding states, going over list after list of known trouble makers: Other gangs. Other gang wannabees. Renegade bad boys.

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We found Noah on Highway 62 yesterday hauling beasts off the Ark one by one.

We're not sure if the animals pictured at right were destined for the burnt offering or if they're busily replenishing the world's stock of pink elephants by now. (We didn't want to ask.)

But Noah was last seen headed west and, as we know, when the animals head out, the rainbow isn't far behind.

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This sign at Caribe Restaurante y Cantina says it all: The Hells Angels are here with their faithful companions and the town is excited--the vast majority of the town anyway.

Regional TV stations did manage to dig deep enough to find somebody to complain on camera. But, when you actually drive down the highways in Eureka Springs, marquee after marquee welcomes the angelic hellions to town.

Local service personnel are delighted to have them because MC's, especially 1%ers, are generally good tippers... except the Christian MC's, who tend to leave religious tracts on the table and give their money to the church.

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The missionary disciples of the Gay News Independent Mini Cooper Ministry went out to cruise the multitudes today-- where we observed a curious phenomenon: nearly every motel marquee on our official E/W village arterial (US Hwy 62) says, «Welcome Hells Angels.»

That's right. The Hells Angels are coming to town. They're expected to rumble over the enchanted borders of our quaint little Victorian motorcycle village on Wednesday. Clearly, the staunch defenders of righteousness --the ones who keep business hours on Highway 62-- are mighty excited.

Is it just us? Or is there something deliciously ironic about good, Christian, family-values-promoting motels, hosts of our new «tear down the sinful deviant strongholds» friends the Jericho Riders, posting a «Welcome Hells Angels» message on their street-side marquees?

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Predictions that the Domestic Partnership Registry would doom faith-based tourism in Eureka Springs were, apparently, way off target. A Christian motorcycle group from Missouri says hundreds of its followers will join thousands of gay visitors to celebrate the city's annual Summer Diversity Weekend, Aug. 3-5.

Identifying itself as an «independent motorcycle ministry,» the Jericho Riders plan to roll into town on Friday, Aug. 3 for a 7 p.m. «prayer walk,» what we assume is Show-Me-State colloquialism for what we locals call a «pub crawl.» By enacting a Domestic Partnership Registry, the group says, Eureka Springs «has given in to Satan and his tactics.»

Lord knows, Democracy IS the devil's workshop.

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This just in from the Gay News Bureau Secret Shopper Ministry....

Ta da! It's the de rigeur fashion statement for the joint Diversity/Jericho Riders Kiss 'n Witness Soiree, August 4th, high noon in Basin Park.

Dahling, simply everyone who is anyone will be wearing this kicky separate because, in Summer Diversity season, white Beefy-T is the new black.

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Here at the Independent Mini Cooper Ministry, we're all a-titter over the arrival of our role models, the Jericho Riders and their Independent Motorcycle Ministry.

The Jericho Riders announced that, on Saturday August 4th, «at noon, in [Basin Park], Jesus Christ WILL be lifted up.» The bookies gathered in our vestry are doing a brisk business with, «Jesus will be lifted with a clean and jerk,» favored over «Jesus will be bench pressed;» current odds: 2:1.

If you know the answer to the eternal question, «WDJW (what does Jesus weigh)?» let us know via our combination prayer request/race sheet tipster hot line so we can win the bet and pour every dime of our wages of sin into Mini Cooper Ministry outreach programs.

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Get «hitched» in Eureka Springs during Diversity Weekend

For out-of-towners coming to our annual summer Diversity Weekend (Aug. 3-5), here's a concise countdown to achieving connubial bliss at the same time:

1) Print out the online application for a Domestic Partnership Registry certificate, available here:

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A growing number of Eureka Springs businesses want to say Thank You for coming to Eureka to register your Domestic Partnership. Check back often as the list grows!

• Eureka House - Situated on 12 private acres just 5 minutes to downtown Eureka Springs. Perfect for your commitment ceremony in the gardens and plenty of room for your reception with guests. Sleeps 6. View our site for complete info and pictures. Our Domestic Partner special: Take $35.00 (the cost of your DP registration) off your first night with us. 2 night minimum stay. Stay for 3 or more nights and we'll pay for your minister too..commitment, renewal of vows, etc. Book for a week and get $35.00 off the first night, a minister for vows, dinner for 2 and your 7th night FREE. Subject to availability.

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Eureka Springs has been known as an art enclave since the 1930's and the city's art community in 2007 is more vibrant than ever. With a population of 2100 the city is home to more than 300 artists with many more artisans scattered among the surrounding hillsides.

Listed in the top 25 USA art destinations by American Style magazine, Eureka has more than 20 galleries, hosts a month long festival in May devoted to the arts, and is home to the Eureka Springs School of the Arts.

On the first Saturday of each month several galleries participate in a stroll showcasing works by featured artists. Not to be missed is the Eureka Springs Fall Art Fair the Saturday and Sunday after Thanksgiving held in the Convention Center of the Inn of the Ozarks. During this show patrons will find the largest gathering of the town's artists under one roof than at any other time during the year.

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