Last night, with nothing else in mind for din-din, I decided to make a beef stew (pronounced 'stoo') type of thing.

Aside: (This is important, people. Read it.) Whenever I have leftover veggies or beef gravy, I put it in a zipper bag in the freezer for times such as last night. After the bag gets a whole bunch of stuff in it, I cook up some beef, toss in the veggie/gravy stuff, and, Eureka! Beef stoo! (sort of)

Ok, so anyway, I'm getting ready to make the stoo. I remember me dear sainted Mama Yip sometimes including barley in soups and stoos.

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After a kitchen remodel, I had an old (ancient!) dishwasher to get rid of, along with some other crap (not 'good' crap, 'bad' crap) including a couple of broken patio tables, a patio heater, about 12 feet of duct work, and miscellaneous (bad) crap.

This was all stuff the regular trash pickup won't accept.  So, I call the city to make an appointment for what they call 'bulky item pickup'.  I'm told to have the crap out by the street no later than 7:00 A.M. the day of the appointment.

Being the clever lad I am (read:  to damned lazy to get up at 5:30 to move the crap to the curb), I put it out at about 8:30 the night before.   I showered, got all sparkly and shiny clean, and went out for an evening of no-no beverages and delightful dining with some other homa seckshuls.

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I've been gone for a few days, but, just like the proverbial bad check, I've returned.

I'm not sure if the past few days have been a dream or reality.

In speaking with my shrink -- I mean, psychiatrist (not good to mention the word 'shrink' to a man during this cold weather, ya know) -- he's decided one of the following is my reality (in no particular order):

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In spite of Doris Day singing Que Sera Sera in my ear, these burning questions (in no particular order of importance) have been keeping me up at night.

What will 2009 bring?

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*Offstage Announcer*

Ladies and gentlemen, it was my great pleasure to interview Governor Sarah Palin (Wingnut-AK) during her visit to the United Nations today.  I found her to be quite gracious, stunningly attractive and more than willing to share her thoughts - unrehearsed and sans cue cards - regarding meeting foreign heads of state for the first time.  Here is a sample of our talk, which took place in the foyer of the United Nations Building:

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I don't know if this girl is trying to come out, or if she's just more enlightened than her mother appears to be. 

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I'm standing in line the other day at the grocery store, about 5:00 in the afternoon.  In front of me is a rather tasty looking man buying a package of hamburger, buns and a 12 pack of beer.  My kinda guy!  Bet I know what his dinner is tonight. 

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I've put it off long enough.  I've GOT to update my kitchen.  New sink and faucet, new dishwasher...a whole bunch of shiny new stuff.  Most of  what I have now doesn't work properly, or leaks, or is just plain UGLY.

Last week, I'm in Home Depot, looking for a dishwasher.

In the appliance department, I spot a washer.  It's in my price range, but it's got a stainless steel front. I would really prefer white. 
I look around for a sales clerk. 
Nobody.
I wander around for a few minutes, looking at the appliances.
6 or 7 minutes pass, a woman wearing an orange apron walks into the appliance area.
She sees me playing with the dishwasher, but keeps her distance.

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I quit.

After six months of having no life, I quit. 

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Friday, August 1

Antique Queens from far and near it's Eureka's 14th annual Yards and Yards of Yard Sales. Friday and Saturday 7:00 AM to 3:00 PM. Find locator maps at shops and restaurants. Sponsored,oddly,by the Greater Eureka Springs Chamber of Commerce.

GET HITCHED! Domestic Partner Certificates. The courthouse is closed Saturday and Sunday. City Clerk's office is in the City Hall, lower level of the Western Carroll County Courthouse, 44 S. Main. Office hours are 9:30 AM - 12 Noon and 1:30 to 4:30 PM.

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