Written by *Offstage Announcer* Ladies and gentlemen, it was my great pleasure to interview Governor Sarah Palin (Wingnut-AK) during her visit to the United Nations today. I found her to be quite gracious, stunningly attractive and more than willing to share her thoughts – unrehearsed and sans cue cards – regarding meeting foreign heads of state for [...]
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No, it’s NOT gross.
I don’t know if this girl is trying to come out, or if she’s just more enlightened than her mother appears to be. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’m standing in line the other day at the grocery store, about 5:00 in the afternoon. In front of me is a rather tasty looking man buying a package of hamburger, [...]
READ MORE »It’s a Scandinavian kitchen for me, thank you very much!
I’ve put it off long enough. I’ve GOT to update my kitchen. New sink and faucet, new dishwasher…a whole bunch of shiny new stuff. Most of what I have now doesn’t work properly, or leaks, or is just plain UGLY. Last week, I’m in Home Depot, looking for a dishwasher. In the appliance department, I spot [...]
READ MORE »Farewell, C Shift. The adventure ends.
I quit. After six months of having no life, I quit. We returned from Europe on a Sunday. I was scheduled to work the following Thursday. By Wednesday, my stomach was in knots. I couldn’t sleep. When I did sleep, I had nightmares of the seven machines I ran coming after me. It was like [...]
READ MORE »Some days are better than others
My father is now in an assisted living home since performing a half gainer down the basement steps, breaking a hip and smashing his face to the tune of 12 stitches. He calls the place the assisted dying home, or The Prison. Thankfully, the home is only about a mile from Hell’s Half Acre, so [...]
READ MORE »This too shall pass. Dear God, please make it soon.
My father is 86 years old. Almost 87. He’s in fairly good health for someone his age, and gets around well. My mother died 15 years ago. He’s lived alone since, taking care of the house, the car, himself, etc. He cooks his own meals, with some help from me and one of my brothers who lives [...]
READ MORE »OF PARKING SPACES, INSANITY AND CUTE COPPERS
Wednesday, 5:15 A.M. I get to my office for a fun-filled day of cookbook publishing. I park in my building’s driveway, unlock the office door and decide I’d rather play on the Internet than work. Hey, it’s MY business. If I want to play before working, who’s to tell me I can’t?! [...]
READ MORE »Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
I just bought a Berlitz German language course. When we go to Austria and Germany in June, I would like to be able to say a few words that aren’t English. What the hell. It was only 20 bucks. I know that everyone over there under the age of 75 speaks English, probably [...]
READ MORE »Untitled
Three-day stubble-OR- why won’t it grow on TOP of my head? I didn’t shave Wednesday. I didn’t shave Thursday. Now it’s Friday. I didn’t shave this morning. I could blame my not shaving on being late for work, which is not entirely true. More accurately, I just didn’t want to do it. I was [...]
READ MORE »This is a repeat…
At least it MAY be. I haven’t had a lot of time to write my annoying missives lately, so I’ve dug into the Yip Files for a couple of past posts that may (or may not) have been added to this blog. I hope I’m not repeating myself by putting the next few installments in [...]
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