Predictions that the Domestic Partnership Registry would doom faith-based tourism in Eureka Springs were, apparently, way off target. A Christian motorcycle group from Missouri says hundreds of its followers will join thousands of gay visitors to celebrate the city's annual Summer Diversity Weekend, Aug. 3-5.

Identifying itself as an «independent motorcycle ministry,» the Jericho Riders plan to roll into town on Friday, Aug. 3 for a 7 p.m. «prayer walk,» what we assume is Show-Me-State colloquialism for what we locals call a «pub crawl.» By enacting a Domestic Partnership Registry, the group says, Eureka Springs «has given in to Satan and his tactics.»

Lord knows, Democracy IS the devil's workshop.

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This just in from the Gay News Bureau Secret Shopper Ministry....

Ta da! It's the de rigeur fashion statement for the joint Diversity/Jericho Riders Kiss 'n Witness Soiree, August 4th, high noon in Basin Park.

Dahling, simply everyone who is anyone will be wearing this kicky separate because, in Summer Diversity season, white Beefy-T is the new black.

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Today's pick of Winners and Sinners in the Eureka Springs Court of Public Opinion:

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

Sinner: «The (Eureka Springs) city council passed the (Domestic Partnership) ordinance unanimously, which basically is the equivalent of the city's leaders recognizing and forcing 'gay marriage' on the city's residents.»--Don Wildmon, Arkansas Family Association.

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Have Your Own Home Base in Eureka Springs

You know how self-satisfying it feels to get back home even after a good getaway? Then just imagine feeling the same way at the very START of your vacation.

Eureka House is an actual home-of-your-own while you're away from your own home. For the price of a generic and sterile hotel suite, you can have an entire two-story charm-chocked Cape Cod on 12 very private, high-altitude acres bordering lush forests and overlooking a verdant valley.

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Sanctity of Marriage Arkansas Style?

Sinner: Ozark siblings announce nuptials.--Headline in the Lovely County Citizen 7/19/07

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The «streets» of The Pinnacle Hills Promenade in Northwest Arkansas will be transformed into a major Art Festival featuring national and regional artists. The event will be a wonderful place for serious enthusiasts to find one-of-a-kind original art treasures, and to talk one-on-one with the artists about their work. Festival admission is free and is designed to appeal to both novices and experienced collectors, in addition to families seeking an interactive, educational and fun arts environment for themselves and their friends.

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Here at the Independent Mini Cooper Ministry, we're all a-titter over the arrival of our role models, the Jericho Riders and their Independent Motorcycle Ministry.

The Jericho Riders announced that, on Saturday August 4th, «at noon, in [Basin Park], Jesus Christ WILL be lifted up.» The bookies gathered in our vestry are doing a brisk business with, «Jesus will be lifted with a clean and jerk,» favored over «Jesus will be bench pressed;» current odds: 2:1.

If you know the answer to the eternal question, «WDJW (what does Jesus weigh)?» let us know via our combination prayer request/race sheet tipster hot line so we can win the bet and pour every dime of our wages of sin into Mini Cooper Ministry outreach programs.

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Matthew 4:19 «And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.»

Fishers. As in fishing. It's a «H» - a H like in Hell.. Is this so hard? But as we reported last week, there seems to be a whole lots of God's Will going on with all sorts of sex acts complete with Bible verse and instructions on the Fisting Is God's Will .

But good lord, one little typo and now the world's largest retailer has a whole new toy line. Sure, I know it was probably a bit dark down in some scribes dungeon and probably that dripping candle wax was distracting the hell out of the boys, but it was an «H» not a «T» - it was supposed to be 'fishing' not fisting.

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Our pick of Winners and Sinners in the Eureka Springs Court of Public Opinion:

Sew right

Winner: «Let's make Carroll County an example of how people, cut from different cloth, can make a beautiful quilt.»-- Historic preservationist Alexander Virden on civic civility.

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The Gay News roving pack of bons vivants left Eureka Springs this afternoon. We didn't get too far in cartographic terms--a mere eleven miles down the road--but, according to the soothing, limited viewpoints we enjoy in the upper left-hand corner of NW Arkansas, we might as well have launched off planet Earth for a dangerous, daring trip to a distant galaxy.

Local Gay News readers know exactly what we mean. Yes, that's right. We went to Berryville. Distant Gay News readers will require a slightly longer explanation for this shocking development but, not to worry, here it is:

The county that contains Eureka Springs is divided in two parts by a wild and beautiful river known as «the Kings.» Back in the old days, before the Mini Cooper was invented, the Kings River often made it impossible for county residents to do government business. So the county is divided into two county seats, one on the eastern side of the river (Berryville), the other on the west bank (Eureka Springs.)

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