I don't know if this girl is trying to come out, or if she's just more enlightened than her mother appears to be. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm standing in line the other day at the grocery store, about 5:00 in the afternoon.  In front of me is a rather tasty looking man buying a package of hamburger, buns and a 12 pack of beer.  My kinda guy!  Bet I know what his dinner is tonight. 

In front of him is a well-dressed woman I would guess to be about 60-something, with quite a lot of groceries.   Behind me is a girl of about 15 or so, with a woman I guess to be her mother.

The clerk finishes ringing up the woman's purchases.  'That'll be $174.78 please.'

The woman opens her purse and fishes out a checkbook.  Jesus H. Christ.  She couldn't have done this BEFORE she got in line?  I'm not usually in a hurry, but it really pisses me off when someone does this.  She's been standing there, looking off into space for 5 minutes while her groceries are being tallied, and she can't at least START writing the check?  Shit!  She didn't even have the checkbook out of her purse until everything was totalled!  Meanwhile, there's a line of people waiting for her.

Fine.  It will give me a few more minutes to admire the tasty man's neck and shoulders.  He's a couple of inches shorter than me.  His clothes have paint blotches all over, and his arms and hands are speckled with paint.  On the back of his tee shirt is written, MIKE'S PAINTING INC. with a telephone number.  The back of his neck is nicely tanned, and when he moves I can see lighter skin below the neckline of his shirt.  I'm thinking I would like to lick the back of his neck when the woman in front of him says to the clerk, 'Are you sure?  That Pepsi's on sale, you know.'

'Yes.  I know.  The scanner picked up the sale price.'  The woman hesitates for a second, and says, 'Hmmm.  Well, I think..........'

At this point tasty man turns to me, smiles a little, and rolls his eyes.  We're thinking the same thing;  why the hell doesn't this old bat get it in gear?!  Actually, that's probably what HE was thinking.  I was thinking more along the lines of; Hey fella, want to come on over to my house and see if it needs painting?  We could have a beer and discuss...

My fantasy is broken by the teenage girl behind me, 'Mom!  Look at this!  Ellen got married!'  She's holding a copy of PEOPLE magazine, with Ellen DeGeneres and her bride, Portia de Rossi on the cover.  'That's so cool!' 

The mother looks at the girl and frowns a little.  'Uh huh.'

'She's got good taste!  Portia is sooooooo pretty!'

Mom is looking sour.  'By the way, have you seen Jason lately?  Is he in any of your classes this year?  He's a nice young man.  Cute, too.'

'I guess so.'  says the girl.  By this time, tasty man is having his groceries totalled.  I put my stuff on the conveyor belt, trying to regain my fantasy of this man painting something - anything - in my house. 

With no shirt.

He picks up his groceries and heads for the exit.  As I'm watching him leave, I make a mental note of the MIKE'S PAINTING INC. telephone number.

'I don't think it's gross!  Why?  They want to get married!  What difference does it make to you?!'  says the girl.  The mother moans and says, 'I forgot ice cream.  Go get some ice cream.'  The girl turns and practically runs away.  Then, under her breath, barely audible, mom says, 'God, what am I going to do with her.'

More importantly, mom, what is SHE going to do with YOU?

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