I just bought a Berlitz German language course.  When we go to Austria and Germany in June, I would like to be able to say a few words that aren't English.  What the hell.  It was only 20 bucks. 

I know that everyone over there under the age of 75 speaks English, probably better than I do, and learning the language isn't absolutely necessary to get around Europe, but I think it would be kind of fun to order dinner in German.  Or at least say hello to the clerk in a store in the native tongue.

We here in America could learn from the Europeans.  In a number of different things.  One is language.  They ALL speak at least a couple of languages over there.  Different situation, I realize.  Over there, one could travel the same distance as Nebraska to Arkansas and pass through 3 or 4 countries, each with its own national language.   It's no big deal for them, but we bitch and moan when we hear 'Press ONE for English'.  I've done it too.  'This is America, damn it!  Learn to speak English!  Assimilate or get the HELL out of here!'

My worry is that I'll butcher the language badly. When I mean to say, 'I'll have the poached salmon with broccoli, please.'  it will come out, 'My sister cannot daytime with large table.'

Fred speaks German quite well.  His mother was raised in Munich.  But he won't say anything  unless he can say it flawlessly.  Perfect sentence structure, with all nouns and verbs in exactly the right place. 

It's really irritating. 

I'll try to say something to him in German, thinking I've gotten the point across, and he'll say 'You want to put a verb in that sentence?' or,  'You sound like a goddam Prussian!'   Apparently, to a Bavarian, sounding like a Prussian is sort of like telling a Massachusetts Yankee they talk like a hick from Alabama.

I don't really care if I don't speak whatever the German equivalent of The Kings' English is, as long as they know I'm at least making an attempt, feeble though it may be.  

So far, I've learned to say,

'Hello.  My name is Yip.' and

'How are you?'  and 

'I'm very good, thank you.' 

When I meet Fred's Aunts and Uncles, it will, no doubt, come out something like,

'My name is good!  Thank you day!' 

I'm hoping that if I smile a lot they won't be too offended.

As Fred always says, It's really ego-deflating when you try your hardest to speak the language, and whomever you're talking to says - in perfect English - 'Would you feel more comfortable if we conversed in your native language?'

I took a conversational German course a couple of years ago.  This is what I remember from the course:

'Today is Monday.  Grandma comes on Monday.  Where is grandma?  Grandma is not there.  That makes me sad.'

Those phrases should come in handy when ordering dinner.

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