Today in 1584, January 7th marked the last day of the Bohemian calendar. Today, in 2008, Bohemia lives again. This time in the form of the most sought after cultural lifestyle. So today, we celebrate living in what is becoming a model creative class Bohemian city. Eureka Springs, Arkansas.

And a celebration it is. As news travels far and wider than a Republican stance, Eureka Bohemia Springs is just about bursting with glee over all the free advertising the American Family Ass..ociation or AFAss for short has bestowed upon us with their new movie..»They're Coming To Your Town»

A full color travelogue capturing images of Eureka and spreading the word that bigots of all flavors need to stay away from Eureka. Praise Jeezus, and Hail Mary, pass the clam dip and pour another round of devil juice. Absinthe for all!

All of this right on the ruby slippered heels of Out Traveler naming Eureka as one of the blue islands in red states. Press from coast to coast and beaming through on satellite radio too.

But in between celebrations and libations, I have given thought to why the local Chamber of Commerce, the City Ad Commission, and the local tourism cooperative (made up of what is supposed to be the brightest bulbs) hadn't grabbed all these God given miracles of free press to get with the program of other progressive cities and companies. Hell, this is a tourist town. They keep touting they want more tourists, but when handed golden eggs, they pretend to be like that monkey picture. They see nothing, they hear nothing, they say nothing. The bulbs are obviously low watts.

Today, (I guess it's a New Bohemian Year thing) I finally realized they are not monkeys at all. They are Jellyfish. Yep, swimming around all pretty like. Grouping, lurking beneath the surface and striking from underneath. Most of the time not deadly in the least, but a real pain in the ass. Wanting to confirm my suspicion, I went to the official Jellyfish site and right there in plain English were the descriptions of what I feared.

«They look like blobs... A jelly has no head, brain, heart, eyes, nor ears. It has no bones, either.»

That,in a nutshell pretty much explains and describes the lemming following, can't see, can't hear, can't think, spineless bastards that fill the AFAss churches and our uh..uh..supposed tourism professionals as named above.

Do you think any of the local wizards behind the ragged curtain have taken a step to jump on the free advertising train that is rolling? Hell no, they seem to be too busy cruising Leviticus like it was a city park to notice the train has left the station and the jellies are on the track.

So while the spineless continue to swim around like some murky water rendition of The Wizard of OZ-arks singing «If I Only Had A Brain», the Bohemians will march proudly forward above water, above ground with enough integrity and backbone to do high kicks in their Ruby Slippers.

Celebrate. Today is the day of the Goats. We know how to get to top of the mountain, no matter how much garbage we eat along the way. Our hooves and spines are strong.

We will take what you can't see or hear. We will drive the train. We will lay new track. We will build what you cannot fathom. And we'll rip down the curtain. The damn thing is so yesterday, so worn and downright pitiful.

Swim on jelly, away from the mountain, your shallow ponds await you downstream.

Long live Bohemia!

Happy New Year!

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