By Gay News Bureau Staff, 1 year and 1 month ago

Eureka's Top 100

Eureka Springs City Clerk MJ Sell issued the 100th Domestic Partnership Registry (DPR) certificate on Friday, August 24th. The happy 100th couple from North Little Rock, AR joined partners from 11 states* who have added their names to the DPR since the registry opened on June 22.

We've been waiting to report this milestone because we wanted to see if the total collapse of civilization predicted by DPR opponents would materialize.

Sure enough, a judge in Iowa suddenly decided that gays and lesbians are American citizens who are equally deserving of civil rights. Americans belatedly realized that loudly-homophobic politicians solicit gay sex in public restrooms. (Right. We know. Surprise, surprise.)

Republican presidential candidates fought these bold assaults on traditional values with a blizzard of press releases about their support for traditional marriage--particularly the brand of traditional marriage that involves adultery, and replacing your «one woman» with a younger, richer, more telegenic, more politically useful model before your other «one woman» knows what hit her.

The Arkansas Legislature acted swiftly to support traditional marriage too--by extending marriage rights to heterosexual infants and toddlers. (Though this act has been the subject of plenty of jokes and puzzled commentary, we must remind you--at least the Arkansas Legislature kept their wits about them long enough to ensure that homosexual Arkansas toddlers are still unable to marry.)

Here at the simmering vortex of cultural upheaval, Eureka Springs, it has been life, and business, as usual. Married couples are still married, our public institutions remain vertical, and our public restrooms remain blissfully free of philandering Republican politicians.

Congratulations to the first 100 couples on Eureka's Domestic Partnership Registry... and the next 100... and the next....

* (The first 100 DPR certificates have been issued to couples from Arkansas, Alabama, Florida, Kansas, Kentucky, Maryland, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas.)

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