Saturday night, Diversity Weekend in Eureka. There are so many things to do, and so little time. Fred and I are lounging at the New Delhi, listening to live music and eating sandwiches. We're having a two-person committee meeting to decide where to go and what to do. It's dark, the evening is speeding along way too fast. Fred's never been to the Tiki, and wants to check it out. The Tiki it is!

Meeting adjourned.

After eating we wander up the hill toward the Tiki. Fred has to pull me up the steps outside. Too many cigarettes and middle age have taken a toll. The place is crowded, but not uncomfortably so. We grab a drink and head for the back where some folks we know are holding court at a large round table below the d.j. booth.

We talk, watch the people dance, talk some more. I get up to use the men's room. I walk around the perimeter of the dance floor, past a Cute Young Couple sitting at the bar. Cute Girl grabs my hand, «Dance with me!»

«Um…..I don't really dance.»

«You HAVE to dance with me!»

If I don't get to the men's room soon, I'm going to explode. Besides, if I have to make a fool of myself by showing my bad dance moves, I'd much rather do it with the cute (VERY cute) boy sitting beside her.

To my surprise, Cute Boy says, «Go ahead! She likes to dance! I do too! Let's ALL dance!» He stands up and grabs my hand.

«No.» I say to him, pulling away. «You two go ahead. I have to use the men's room.» They both frown and sit back down. «Party pooper!» I hear as I'm walking away. I break into a trot for the restrooms. Nature's call has turned into a deafening shout.

- - - - our story will continue after this brief potty break- - - -

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ADVENTURES IN THE RESTROOM LINE

a short story by Yip

In the hall where the Tiki restrooms are located, 5 women are in line for the ladies room. No men waiting. I push on the men's door. It's locked. I back up against the wall and wait. And wait. And wait. Two women have been in the ladies room and left while I'm waiting. Another one enters. Two are left standing by me, waiting. I try the door again, thinking maybe I just didn't push it hard enough the first time. No such luck. It's locked. The girl closest to me says to nobody in particular, «Jesus! If I don't get in there quick I'm gonna flood this place!»

Finally the door of the men's room opens, TWO guys walk out. One has a broad grin on his face. «Have a nice time?» I ask him. «Oh yeah!» he giggles and walks away. I'm the only man waiting, so I turn to the woman beside me, «If you want to use this one, I'll watch the door for you.»

«Oh THANK YOU!!!!» She runs in and closes the door.

My urge to void has been tempered by the knowledge that I have done my part for the women of the world, if only in a small way.

The End.

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After my restroom adventure I return to the table and sit beside Fred and Pam, an ever-so-nice little Kansas gal we've just recently met. The Cute Girl comes bouncing over to Fred.

«Dance with me!» she says, grabbing his arm.

Shy, introverted Fred looks bewildered. «I…..I…..can't dance.» he yells over the music.

«Oh, SURE you can! C'mon!!»

Fred stammers, «Um…..Um…..»

Thankfully, Pam comes to Fred's rescue. She shouts to Cute Girl, «We're from Kansas. We don't dance. It's a Kansas thing.»

Cute Girl says something I can't hear and bounces back to the bar, sitting down beside Cute Boy, who's busy talking to another guy wearing a red baseball cap. Turns out he's cute too. (At my age, anything younger than 50 is cute.) The two guys are laughing, occasionally glancing to the table where we're sitting, apparently sharing some sort of private joke.

«They're married.» Fred says to me.

«Who? The two guys? Now that's a couple I'd like to watch!»

«No, asshole. The boy and the girl. They're straight and married.»

«Oh, I don't know about that. The boy asked me to dance with him.» I say.

Fred gives me his 'oh you idiot' look, «This is Eureka Springs, Yip.»

I glance around the dance floor. There are girl/girl couples, boy/boy couples, mixed couples, some obviously gay, some obviously straight.

«Good point.»

This sort of orientation-mixing wouldn't happen in Kansas City. Rarely, anyway.

Some time passes and I'm ready for another beer. As I walk past the bar stools, Cute Boy says to me, «I'll buy you a beer if you dance with us! C'mon!» He points to Cute Girl. «This is my wife. She wants to dance with BOTH of us!»

He pushes me out to the dance floor. He's a couple of inches shorter than me, and STRONG. Cute Girl squeals, yelps, and jumps in front of him, gyrating. The ball cap guy is shouting and laughing from the sidelines, «Go for it! Woooo Hoooo! Go for it!»

I give in to the handsome young man. The dance was inevitable, and I figure, what the hell. Maybe I can get away with touching him in places that I shouldn't.

«Are you folks locals?» I ask him. «No. Well, sort of. We're from Fayetteville.»

While thinking I should visit Fayetteville more often, I grab his waist from behind and pull him close to me. Damn! This boy is built! We're rubbing against each other as we attempt a three-person dance. I'm running my hands over his shoulders, his waist, his hips, and loving every minute of it. He turns his head and shouts over his shoulder to me, «You wanna get in the middle? Between us?»

This just about brings me to the brink. The kid is not only handsome, he's a mind reader. Wonderfully obscene pictures are flashing in my head, but I decline. «No, this is just fine!» I say, running my hand over his bicep.

Surprisingly – or maybe not – as we were out there slopping around and rubbing against each other, Cute Boy never once tried to move away from me (thank you, God!) Yes, this IS Eureka Springs!

The guy in the ball cap is watching us, clapping his hands, laughing a bit too loud, yelling, «Woooo Hoooo! Woooo Hoooo! You GO! You GO!»

In a rare moment of clarity I figure out what's REALLY going on here. At least I think I do. I'll never know for sure, but I figure somebody just won $5.00. «I bet you won't dance with one of those gay guys!» «Bet I will!» Something along those lines.

After rubbing against my little human Viagra pill for a few short minutes, I return to the table. «That looked like fun!» says Fred.

«Ah, no big deal.» I say, trying to hide my smile. «You're right, they're married.»

Was I an unwitting participant in a straight-boy bet? I don't know. Don't much care either.

It was fun! And, after all, this is Eureka.

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