We've been asked to comment on the local press coverage of last weekend's PDA in the Park and, yes we'll admit we've been stalling, but here goes:

The only mention of the event comes from our old friends at the Patriots' Herald. It's short. It's to the point. Here it is, reproduced in its entirety:

«....gays passed out pink hats and posed for a picture in the park.»

Say what you will about the journalistic excesses of the Patriots' Herald, we must admit their coverage of the PDA was fair and balanced.

Right. We know. That's not what you're asking. You're wondering about the other 800-plus words in the 900 word article that went on and on (and on) about how people from Blue Eye, MO (pop. 129) might not visit Eureka Springs because we have a Domestic Partnership Registry.

What can we say, folks? It's Al, Reverend Al, who introduced himself to Eureka Springs in 2005 with his «Letters to the Citizen Editor» ministry.

Al eventually abandoned the Citizen mission field but, in his parting shot, Rev. Al warned us, «The extreme liberals in this area had better get used to people objecting to the blatant and open display of the perverse behavior on the streets of Eureka Springs.»

Next thing we knew, Al had rounded up enough investors to found his own paper, the Patriots' Herald. We've been reading his weekly objections ever since.

We're inordinately fond of free speech here at Gay News, so we're certainly not going to complain about Rev. Al. Besides, Rev. Al taught us something very important this week by inspiring us to do a bit of research.

The less charitably minded among us might call the lesson, «How the religious right plays fast and loose with the facts.» But we're in a cheerful mood, so we prefer to call our Sunday sermon, «How history is made.»

Today's Whopper of the Week comes from faraway Orlando, Florida, where The Holy Land Experience claims to be, » the world's first living, historical, biblical museum, is a dynamic facility that boldly proclaims the truth of Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world through fascinating biblical exhibits, profound biblical presentations, and stirring biblical drama and music. «

Sorry folks. Gerald LK Smith, the racist, anti-Semitic founder of the white supremacist, «Christian Nationalist Crusade,» (and our own, local Passion Play & Holy Land) beat you to the punch 40 years ago.

Florida's Holy Land Experience has been around since 2001 and, like our own Christian theme park, it had been suffering from poor attendance--losing money, hand over recently-washed foot. Then (cue the angelic choir) a savior appeared. Behold. The New Holy Land (and its $8 million dollar mortgage) was purchased by the Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN.)

If you follow televangelism news (and, seriously, who doesn't?) you know that TBN's president, Paul Crouch Jr., is mostly famous outside prayer-envelope circles for spending lots of time and money to keep his alleged homosexual indiscretions out of the news.

Ironic, isn't it? After all the public hand-wringing over gays and our own, local, floundering Holy Land, it looks like the competitive death blow might be dealt by a closeted homosexual (No, no! I'm not gay. Here's some money.) and his billion dollar, 12,500 affiliate TV network.

Which brings us back to the Rev. Al and the Patriots' Herald account of the PDA in the Park that caused Gay News readers to bristle in the first place. Yes, Rev. Al's story was about Christians coming to Eureka Springs to tell Rev. Al that Christians wouldn't come to Eureka Springs. (The logic escapes us too. We'll just assume it is not for us to know.)

But, turns out, Rev. Al has been right all along when he warned that homosexuals could do serious damage to the financial well-being of our local Christian theme park. It's just... we thought Rev. Al meant us. We didn't think about Paul Crouch Jr., his newer version of our local attraction, his thousands of TV stations, or the millions of dollars he has to invest in promoting the Passion Play's competition.

C'est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell.--Bob Seger

There is more than one way to skin a cat. -- Rev. Al

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