I saw an article in the news today describing how your organization is protesting the decision of the city of Eureka Springs, Arkansas to welcome participants in the Celebrate Diversity festivities this coming weekend.

After hearing about the goings on in Eureka Springs during the last visit by a motorcycle gang in which a handful of members of the Bandidos were clubbed like baby seals by a handful of Hell's Angels, I can understand why you would want to protest who the city of Eureka Springs allows to visit their quiet and peaceful community. This is particularly true in your case since your cause is so much more vital and important than the drug addled, jack booted thugs who were responsible for the recent light hearted rabble rousing.

Given the choice between the widely divergent agendas of your «gang» and the fun loving gypsies celebrating diversity, I should think the city would have little trouble in seeing your way and banning those free thinking peaceniks forever.

I get goosebumps just thinking of the awe inspiring sight of your mighty warriors riding into town, windows rattling as you ride by, thunder and righteous fire belching from the rectums of your steel horses. With the symbol of your mission, a tool of crucifixion, proudly emblazoned on the back of your black leather armor and a dog eared copy of the scriptures jammed in the back pocket of your greasy, bug splattered jeans, you will strike fear and repentance into the hearts of those peace loving rainbow huggers.

You will carry on the tradition of holy soldiers who came before you. You will ride among them, like Pastor John Chivington, that Methodist icon, rode among the Cheyenne Indians, slaughtering those heathen women and children at Sand Creek in the name of all that is holy and good, his faithful followers returning to town with the body parts of the children and babies decorating their uniforms as their chests swelled with pride. They sure taught those dirty, godless Indians what it means to be a true Christian. What a sight it would be.

And how about that Spanish Inquisition? Was that inspiring or what?

I can't imagine the city officials would rather have a bunch of color coordinated neat freaks walking around talking about peace and love and acceptance. The very thought of it makes me want to go set fire to something pastel.

I wish I could be there with you this weekend. I am so behind your cause. I (dare I say?) celebrate everything you stand for, although I would be less than fully honest if I failed to mention a couple of things to you. It is, I suppose a confession of sorts. I don't want you to get the idea that I was hiding anything if you found out later.

I really like petit fours. There, I said it. I like those little cucumber sandwiches without the crusts too. Other than that, I am with you all the way. Yessiree.

Oh, that reminds me. I think Tim Curry is really funny. Is it OK to still laugh at Tim's movies? I mean, it's just a movie, right?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE women. I love the way they look and the way they smell (well, most of them), and how soft they are and their hair and, wow, I just get all giddy just thinking about them...um....

I have a can of air freshener that is really nice. It smells like wildflowers in spring with lavender overtones. I have some God Bless America Apple Pie and Chevrolet with cinnamon as well, but I really like the flowers. I know I should throw it away and get something more Godly and conservative like «Pulpit Sweat and Motorcycle Chain Oil,» but can I just keep the flowers?

Can I still listen to Elton John? Someone Saved my Life Tonight is one of my favorite songs. But I am right there with you, brother.

Our cause is just and our God is behind us all the way. Our God is a real man's God, isn't he? That little deal where Oral Robert's said that if he didn't raise those millions of dollars that God was going to call him home...whoooeee! That sure let everyone know that he was not a God to be messed with. I mean, what other Supreme Being would have the balls to grab one of his own front men and hold him for ransom? Wow. That's cutting edge...right?

Anyway, I am really looking forward to this coming weekend.

God bless you, Jericho Riders. Your truth is marching on....

David L. Purdy
Fayetteville, Arkansas

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