Predictions that the Domestic Partnership Registry would doom faith-based tourism in Eureka Springs were, apparently, way off target. A Christian motorcycle group from Missouri says hundreds of its followers will join thousands of gay visitors to celebrate the city's annual Summer Diversity Weekend, Aug. 3-5.

Identifying itself as an «independent motorcycle ministry,» the Jericho Riders plan to roll into town on Friday, Aug. 3 for a 7 p.m. «prayer walk,» what we assume is Show-Me-State colloquialism for what we locals call a «pub crawl.» By enacting a Domestic Partnership Registry, the group says, Eureka Springs «has given in to Satan and his tactics.»

Lord knows, Democracy IS the devil's workshop.

The following day, Aug. 4, the group plans to «go to the streets witnessing,» the annoying practice of telling complete strangers who really don't want to hear it how relentlessly pious and devout you are. Note to pedestrians: Keep your purse- or pocket-size Persistent-Evangelist spray repellent handy. And hide your money in a belt wallet. The Jericho's are NOT a not-for-profit outfit and they WILL need gas money to get back home.

At noon Saturday, the bible-packin' bikers will assemble in Basin Park where «Jesus Christ WILL be lifted up.» The Riders say «hundreds of ministry leaders, pastors, and Christians» are expected for the «Restoring America's Foundation on Jesus Christ Rally.»

«Well,» as the Church Chat Lady always said, «isn't that speshul?»

Unfortunately, for the holy rollers, the resurrection will have to compete for attention with a GLBT «Kiss Off» previously scheduled for the same time and the same place. In what has become an annual Basin Park tradition and not-to-be missed tourist attraction, same-sex and opposite-sex participants will briefly kiss, hug and mug for the camera. Right there in front of god and ever'body.

Rev. Phil «Don't-bother-reading-just-sign-here» Wilson won't know which group to cheer for--the motorcycle ministers trying their hand at levitation or the homos who--according to his worst recurrent nightmare--WON'T be «kissing on the courthouse steps.»

In the past, the Diversity smoochfest was simply known as an amusing Public Display of Affection. After the Jericho Riders announced their intention to horn in, however, the event was rechristened a «Kiss Off» in order to convey a not-so-subtle message of welcome to the proselytizing party crashers.

If all of this sounds as if it has the makings of microcosmic and confrontational culture clash, not to worry. «This event is not a protest of anything,» say the Jericho Riders. And the queens have vowed not to throw anything heavier than an occasional hissy fit.

Besides, as English playwright William Congreve wrote 310 years ago, «Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast . . .» and there will be no shortage of foot-stompin', knee-slappin' strummin' and pluckin', thanks to Eureka's favorite Pornobilly band, the Mountain Sprouts.

As they often do in late night venues where gay patrons congregate, the Sprouts will no doubt play «Dueling Banjos» from Deliverance, the movie in which all of the musicians could have easily played extras--without the aid of make-up or wardrobe departments. It doesn't take too much imagination to envision a Pornobilly cooing to a humpy, leather-clad Jericho Rider, «You shore have a purty mouth, boy.»

Sadly, the Sprouts are as unlikely to sing their hit, «Hard-on For You» as they would be to belt out Broadway show tunes, but circumstances almost demand their rousing rendition of «Are You Drinkin' With Me Jesus?»

Better yet, in honor of the occasion, bass player and singer Melissa Carper is even now teaching the boys in the band the lyrics to «Christian Girlfriend,» a feisty tune which has become something of a local lesbian anthem.

It's hard to know in all of this whether Days Inn of Eureka Springs owners Sandra and Fred Widger will be tearing their hair and rending their garments in the face of so much (eeeek!) Diversity or--as they should--fall to their knees before a rainbow flag out of sheer gratitude.

As you may recall, the Widgers claimed in an incendiary and homophobic newspaper ad earlier this year that «the reason the faith-based community has decided not to visit Eureka Springs is because we have deliberately promoted our city as a homosexual mecca.»

Not-so-ironically, though, as the Jericho Riders roll toward mecca and, as one of two «host» hotels (the other is the Traveler's Inn), the Days Inn's wiley Widgers stand to profit handsomely--directly from a group of road-weary motorcycle ministers and indirectly from the precisely the kind of diversity the Widgers rant against.

The advice from Gay News Bureau to Diversity revelers is to plan on brunching early and swimming late on Showdown Saturday. In between, plan on being in Basin Park at noon sharp for The Best Little Homo Hoedown in Arkansas.

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